# Thinking I picked the WRONG Lodge!? :(



## Radical540

Greetings All!  I'm going to try and make this as to the point as I can.
      My interest in Freemasonry started in the Summer of 2013. I began doing some research & reading, and developed a small library of enlightening books by guys like S. Brent Morris, Christopher Knight, & Christopher Hodapp and a few others.  All respected Masons indeed; and I learned a TON!!
      Toward the end of last summer I petitioned the local lodge of my city. I was told it was a lodge of about 30 members, thought I've only ever met about a dozen, and of that dozen only about 6-8 show up to communication meetings on a regular basis. (Concern #1).  Prior to be voted and accepted, I met a few of the brothers at the lodge for the "after meeting" snack, and one time at the prior WM's home. Nothing special and rather uneventful.
      Much of the reading I've done prior to petitioning had portrayed the Craft as one of brotherly love and ambivalence, so I've taken that to heart.
      In December I had my Entered Apprentice Degree.  The bare minimum members showed up to even open lodge, but the ceremony took place and I went through it.  Having experience this "lodge" for several months now, even though I'm only an EA I'm starting to question whether I chose the right lodge.  Having taken the EA oath, and taking it literally means a certain allegiance to the lodge and it's brothers..but I've yet to feel this lodge values it's brothers or what lodge stands for beyond just a bunch of guys that might be on the same bowling team.  I know I'm the "new brother" but based on how the other brothers react to each other, I'm not seeing the "brotherly love" that Freemasonry is supposed to be all about.  One thing that shocked me was the WM saying this around the holidays  "...we won't be having lodge on XMas day, because I sure don't wanna see your mugs (faces) on the holiday...I'll be with my family!"   REALLY?  Is that brotherly love?   Also, I recently had a birthday. ALL my non-mason friends wished me birthday greetings; but my Mason "brothers"-- the ones in which I took an oath to support, and show brotherly love to.....NOTHING AT ALL!
     Many times, it's like pulling teeth just to get brothers to show up, and when they do their late, and sometimes not even dressed properly.  (in my most recent lodge communication meeting, the JD was wearing jeans, sneakers, and simply a polo shirt with a Square & Compass embroidered on it.  Very unmasonic & unprofessional in my opinion).  I'm not sure if most Lodges have this hard to a time to actually get members to a meeting, but it seems as though the members of my lodge put just about EVERYTHING in life before lodge, and the excuses simply seem rampant.
      Mainly what I'm getting at is that this Lodge doesn't seem very committed to taking to the Craft very seriously, and when they do even show up, I just don't see the cameraderie or brotherly love that Freemasonry allegedly purports! 
Just seems like a bunch (maybe) of co-workers hanging out for an hour or 2 usually just once a month- if that.
Help!  Did I pick the wrong lodge?
Thanks everyone!


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## Lowcarbjc

Great post. Interested in the replies, Trust me you are not the first person experiencing this.


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## coachn

Get through your degrees asap and travel!  Best way to find a lodge that's right for you.


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## Radical540

Are my concerns something I should share with the current WM?  Or would stepping up and saying something be considered offensive and unappreciative?


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## brother blaine

Best thing I can say brother is you have to pick a lodge where you feel comfortable and "fit in" 


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## Radical540

brother blaine said:


> Best thing I can say brother is you have to pick a lodge where you feel comfortable and "fit in"
> 
> 
> Sent From My Freemasonry Pro App



Not the easiest thing to do, when don't know anyone at other lodges either. It's a crap-shoot all the way around.


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## brother blaine

Yea you may have to just travel to other lodges and meet brothers 


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## Benjamin Baxter

The best thing to do is to get through your degrees and transfer to another lodge that fits. After you get through travel to all surrounding lodges within 20+ miles. Visit each one 2 or 3 times, you should know which one feels good by then. I drive 20 miles to my home lodge, even though I am a member at a closer lodge. Lodge is a family too, sometimes they need motivation of young blood. Motivation can be contagious. Maybe you went to this lodge for a reason, and maybe they need you more than you need them. I notice a lack of motivation at my lodge then we got a few new guys and wow we meet almost every week now.


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## Brother_Steve

Not to come off the wrong way but what lodge are you a part of? Is it a regular lodge under the official GL of your state recognized by the UGLE?


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## Radical540

Bro. Bennylee said:


> The best thing to do is to get through your degrees and transfer to another lodge that fits. After you get through travel to all surrounding lodges within 20+ miles. Visit each one 2 or 3 times, you should know which one feels good by then. I drive 20 miles to my home lodge, even though I am a member at a closer lodge. Lodge is a family too, sometimes they need motivation of young blood. Motivation can be contagious. Maybe you went to this lodge for a reason, and maybe they need you more than you need them. I notice a lack of motivation at my lodge then we got a few new guys and wow we meet almost every week now.


Very good point-- I suppose I never thought about it that way.
Before petitioning, I read, and read, and read and read some more.  Not to sound conceited, but I feel like I probably do know more about freemasonry (historically) then some of the less senior members.  I'm constantly researching, and eMailing off great tid-bits of information, facts, trivia and history.  I've even stumped the WM with some information I found while researching the "hand-in-the-coat" photograph pose that is often shown in historical photos.  (Research revealed it is a part of an upper Scottish Rite degree ritual)  Some members are receptive, others seem they could care less.   Nevertheless, I suppose I just had a different expectation, that what my reality has been.......at least, so far.
As many of you mentioned, I will likely make it through my degrees at my current lodge, and will probably look to branch off to an appendant body such as Scottish Rite once I become a Master Mason.


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## tldubb

Well I would say stick in there...because it only takes one good Bro. to turn things around...but at least try once your raised. GB!

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## dfreybur

Radical540 said:


> My interest in Freemasonry started in the Summer of 2013. I began doing some research & reading, and developed a small library of enlightening books by guys like S. Brent Morris, Christopher Knight, & Christopher Hodapp and a few others.  All respected Masons indeed; and I learned a TON!!



Being new you haven't had time to learn internal history going back decades or centuries.  As such some of this is perspective some of it is compatibility.



> Toward the end of last summer I petitioned the local lodge of my city. I was told it was a lodge of about 30 members, thought I've only ever met about a dozen, and of that dozen only about 6-8 show up to communication meetings on a regular basis. (Concern #1).  Prior to be voted and accepted, I met a few of the brothers at the lodge for the "after meeting" snack, and one time at the prior WM's home. Nothing special and rather uneventful.



You joined a small lodge.  Almost every lodge across every century you care to read about has complained about attendance.  The numbers you quote tell me your lodge has better attendance for its size than is typical among all lodges.  That's a perspective issue.



> Much of the reading I've done prior to petitioning had portrayed the Craft as one of brotherly love and ambivalence, so I've taken that to heart.
> In December I had my Entered Apprentice Degree.  The bare minimum members showed up to even open lodge, but the ceremony took place and I went through it.  Having experience this "lodge" for several months now, even though I'm only an EA I'm starting to question whether I chose the right lodge.  Having taken the EA oath, and taking it literally means a certain allegiance to the lodge and it's brothers..but I've yet to feel this lodge values it's brothers or what lodge stands for beyond just a bunch of guys that might be on the same bowling team.  I know I'm the "new brother" but based on how the other brothers react to each other, I'm not seeing the "brotherly love" that Freemasonry is supposed to be all about.



Timing is definitely another perspective issue.  On the one hand we encounter brothers out in the wild and outsiders who see our reaction to each other say we act like old friends.  On the other hand inside our own lodge we all know we're here for life and there's no hurry.  You haven't yet been through the line with a corps of officers to build camaraderie but you already expect to have it not yet having worked for it or allowed it to happen on a sensible time scale.



> One thing that shocked me was the WM saying this around the holidays  "...we won't be having lodge on XMas day, because I sure don't wanna see your mugs (faces) on the holiday...I'll be with my family!"   REALLY?  Is that brotherly love?



Remember the lesson of what order your priorities are.  God, country, family, neighbor, lodge.  I don't get why this event seems problematic to you.  It's Masonry displaying our priorities as we teach.



> Also, I recently had a birthday. ALL my non-mason friends wished me birthday greetings; but my Mason "brothers"-- the ones in which I took an oath to support, and show brotherly love to.....NOTHING AT ALL!



Please go through the line and try to keep track of every brother's birthday then get back to me on this.  I tried it and couldn't pull it off the first and second time I was in the east.  If a lodge has a tradition of sending birthday cards and a system in place maintaining that system is work but not a lot.  If a lodge does not have such a tradition building it from the records was a task beyond the time I had to spend on it in my years in the east.  Perspective.



> and sometimes not even dressed properly.  (in my most recent lodge communication meeting, the JD was wearing jeans, sneakers, and simply a polo shirt with a Square & Compass embroidered on it.  Very unmasonic & unprofessional in my opinion).



That one I'm not going to pull the perspective card on you.  I've seen lodges that meet in coveralls where this would be expected.  I've seen lodges that meet in business casual where jeans are problematic.  On the one hand attending is more important than not and forever most brothers never attend so seeing the occasional brother come straight from work is no big deal.  On the other hand attitude matters and a brother straight from a welding job can still change shirts and pants to be clean and comport himself with dignity.



> Mainly what I'm getting at is that this Lodge doesn't seem very committed to taking to the Craft very seriously ... Help!  Did I pick the wrong lodge?



Might be why they are a small lodge.  Might also be exactly the lodge you need.  Take a step back and think about that.  Are you a leader or a follower?  (Hint, it's not one or the other it's best to be plenty of both).

Followers will want to find the nearest highly active lodge and join the crowd.  Affiliate and start volunteering.  Ride the existing wave of activity.

Leaders will take the small lodge as a chance to make a difference in the long run.  Join the line and build the camaraderie.  Take on one annual event that's yours.  Accept help but run that event forever.  As young brothers come in have them pick a month with no event and brainstorm what event should happen that month.  Have them take on that as their annual event that's theirs.  Do pay attention to elder members if they say "We tried that once.  Here's why it failed.  Maybe if this changes it would work."  Do ignore elder members if they say "That's not how we did it in my year."  These events are throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks but by paying attention to what works and what fails and why in a couple of decades you'll build up some repeating event that works every month.  And then you'll have an active lodge.  Those years will happen whether you improve your own lodge this way or you sit around complaining about it.  Time, patience and perseverance will accomplish all things - Understand that it takes all three.  Be the change, the patience and the work.  If there's no big active lodge around to ride the wave, spend the time to build one.


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## Radical540

Brother_Steve said:


> Not to come off the wrong way but what lodge are you a part of? Is it a regular lodge under the official GL of your state recognized by the UGLE?


Yes, the lodge I am a member of is recognized by the Grand Lodge of Michigan.


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## Brother JC

Every lodge is different. My personal take is that you should wait to pass judgement until you've had time to get to know the lodge and the Brethren more, and experience more than one or two meetings.

"Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get."


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## CuAllaidh

I second the notion of waiting and seeing. My initiation I felt out of sorts, welcomed but almost superficially, the next meeting was much the same, it wasn't until my third meeting that I felt like I was a brother to my lodge members. In hindsight the problem in not feeling I was fitting it had more to do with my own nervousness at joining a new group and not knowing many people then with the brothers being unwelcoming. I am not saying the problem is yours and not theirs, but give them a chance to demonstrate brotherly love in their way, perhaps it isn't what you expect, but it might be more than you are giving them credit for. 

Travel when you can check out other loges, but don't write off your current lodge right off the bat.


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## Radical540

This is all GREAT insights coming in, and MUCH appreciated.
*Here is another question:  Should I bring up my concerns to the WM?*


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## dfreybur

Radical540 said:


> *Should I bring up my concerns to the WM?*



Chain of command.  I'm in favor of using it.  Your top line signer or assigned mentor, your WM and/or other officers.


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## Browncoat

I agree about perspective. 

I'm also the new guy @ my (small) Lodge and it can be very easy to be disappointed. We read about how grand Freemasonry is and see awesome photos of beautiful Lodge rooms...it can be kind of a let down when expectations aren't met.

This may not be the Lodge for you, but at least give it a chance. Those guys may be giving it their all just to try to keep a failing Lodge afloat. Maybe they're just burned out and someone new and active could be the spark they need. If if turns out that the Lodge really is a dud, then you can travel as the others have said.


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## MarkR

As far as not conducting a communication on Christmas Day, I'd be shocked if they did, and I doubt that very many brothers would show up.  My lodge meets twice a month from September through June, with the exception of December, when we only meet once for that very reason.  The WM was trying to be funny, but yes, family on Christmas comes before Masonic Lodge.

My lodge is also one that has a tradition of casual dress.  Jeans and a polo shirt is pretty common.  I know there are Masonic authors who are of the opinion that "real" Masonic work cannot be done in casual clothes.  I disagree, but if you feel strongly about that, then perhaps you should look for another lodge that better fits your expectations AFTER you complete your degrees.  As far as bringing your concerns to the Worshipful Master as a new Entered Apprentice, I don't think that would be well received.

Give this lodge some time, including after you complete your degrees, to get to know them.  Get involved.  You may be surprised to find out that they are very welcoming of new, young brothers who want to explore the deeper aspects of the craft.


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## rpbrown

Just my .02 here but, as far as the amount of brothers in attendance, this is better than most considering the size of your lodge. We have about 140 members and only around 20 show up for stated meetings.
As for the attire, the only time our lodge is in business casual is at officer installation. Most of us come to lodge straight from work. Now some work in an office and business casual is what they wear to work but most of us are blue collar workers and jeans and a polo or even tee shirt is our dress.
Only you can answer whether you have chosen the wrong lodge.  Perhaps you will see things differently by the time you go through the degrees. Maybe you were meant to be there to help build the membership or to help out with attendance. 
As for the birthday, I have a hard enough time remembering my wife's and dont remember my 5 kids birthdays, try to remember 30+ men on theirs.
I would also give it some time to get accustomed to the brothers and let them get accustomed to you.


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## Radical540

dfreybur said:


> Chain of command.  I'm in favor of using it.  Your top line signer or assigned mentor, your WM and/or other officers.



(not sure what a "top line signer is", but my "mentor" is the WM.)  As mentioned that lodge is very small, and other than myself and another recent EA, all the other members are officers-- at least the ones that come to lodge meetings.


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## Radical540

This truly excellent feedback! It's really putting things into perspective for me.  What I'm realizing that you can't always take everything you read as gospel.  Many of the books I've read convey they Craft much, much differently than the real-world experience I've had thus far.  Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the journey- and I think it would better serve me personally if I merely adjusted my expectations a little (or a lot).


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## Brother_Steve

1) I have found that Lodge is like any other organization. You will find those that are harder to talk to than others. It is why you shop around before handing in your petition.

- Get your degrees under your belt and travel. The easy option is to travel and visit. The extreme option is to travel, visit, petition, join another lodge and demit from your mother lodge if you feel it is not for you. It is one thing to help a lodge that needs it but it is another thing entirely if you think you need to get in line to change a lodge into something it doesn't want to be. I hope that makes sense.

2) December is a weird time of the year. Especially if your lodge switches officers after the new year and December is the last meeting for the current WM before he moves on to be the rookie Has Been. Not much is going on at the end of the year as the money is spent and the required tasks are done.

- It is dark and cold this time of year. Older brethren will not go to lodge because of body aches or just not being able to drive at night.
- The lodge does not have a lot going on and survives on dues alone. Masons need mental stimulation like any other organization. Boring lodge meetings suck.
_*- Sadly,*_ some of the issues that others have  with the sitting WM have come to a head. These brothers do not show up to meetings as a form of protest. If said Brother(s) has/have a large enough following it can lead to an empty lodge room. They forgot the rule about peace and harmony (btw, ignoring personal issues by not attending lodge is not how one keeps peace and harmony.)

I'd say more but it seems to be covered by everyone above.

Edited: One more point about attendance. You say the lodge has 30 members?

I am willing to bet that every officer of that lodge is a past master and has been through the line several times. That gets old fast.

I'm saying this in jest but serious at the same time. The lodge room could be empty because the brethren don't want to be nominated for an officer position.

Be careful because you might find yourself sitting as a decon or a warden the day after you're raised and turn in your proficiency!


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## Radical540

Bro Steve,
When you say "dark" are you referring to lodges going "dark", as they do in the summer?
That brings up an interesting question- If lodges "go dark" in the winter, and also in the summer (Jun-Aug ?), exactly what months of the year are (most) lodges actually "in session"?


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## Brother_Steve

I was referencing how it is dark at night before a stated meeting versus the spring and summer when it is still light out.

Socialization is much easier in the warmer/lighter months. Lots more people come out when they can hang out before (because it is light) and after a meeting (because it is warm) Some members speak more about masonry before and after a meeting than during a meeting so when that is not available they might just stay home.


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## rfuller

All of these are excellent suggestions.  I was in your shoes 10 years ago.  Tonight I'll be giving my lodge's first lecture in at least 10 years.  Change takes time.  Sometimes it takes a few new faces with new perspective to get the ball rolling.  My lecture tonight is actually about this exact thing, but it seems like you are on the right path. 

Before you get too antsy and jump ship, I think you need to buckle down and get through those degrees.  Your zeal is commendable, but don't forget why Entered Apprentices wear their aprons the way they do.  

All that said, I'd like to echo a few things, and point out a few more.  First, every lodge has it's own personality.  Some lodges are dark this time of year and flourish in the summer.  At my lodge, it's the opposite.  December was our biggest turnout without a crisis to be discussed.  In June, we had to make all kinds of last minute phone calls to get enough brethren to open this year's Lodge of Sorrow.  

I would also give the Brethren a chance to get to know you better.  And I would try to get to know THEM better as well.  Some lodges have problems with people never turning in their EA proficiency and never being heard from again.  Some lodges rarely have EA's and don't know how to interact with them due to fear of revealing something from the other degrees, using the wrong due guard, etc...  And a degree is hard to put on in December.  One of our EA's turned in proficiency in December, and we told him he's going to have to wait until February for us to have a proper degree team.  Our brethren have all kinds of outside obligations this time of year.  In fact, we're voting on changing our floor practice night to allow for more people on our degree team.  Things change, and sometimes lodges have a hard time keeping up with that change.  It's all part of the process.  

Be patient. You're a Freemason for life.  Being a Mason is a pursuit.  Maybe it's not the lodge for you.  But maybe you haven't given it a chance yet.  And maybe you are their only hope for change.  

Good luck, brother.  Let us know how things are going as they progress.


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## CuAllaidh

Browncoat said:


> I agree about perspective.
> 
> I'm also the new guy @ my (small) Lodge and it can be very easy to be disappointed. We read about how grand Freemasonry is and see awesome photos of beautiful Lodge rooms...it can be kind of a let down when expectations aren't met.



Exactly... the lodge I joined holds meetings in the local legion hall, its hardly a grand lodge room. I have to admit it WAS a bit of a let down, and that might be (in part) why I didn't feel as included as I felt I should be. Like I said it took a few meetings.


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## DJGurkins

Our lodge meets once a month every month. We have practice every other week except around Christmas Eve and New years Eve past they fell on our practice nights so we all spent it with our family's. We have a policy that rather than not come to lodge because you are not properly attired, Show up as you are and we all welcome you as usual. We remember the lesson The internal not external makes a mason. Some times that is a hard lesson to learn because of the past when everyone always dressed up. Anyone remember going to the movies as a kid and having to put on your nice clothes.


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## dfreybur

Radical540 said:


> not sure what a "top line signer is", but my "mentor" is the WM.



Think of the physical petition paper.  It had at least two lines for recommenders to sign on.  The first to sign usually does so on the top line.  In most lodges there is a presumption that he will be your mentor.  In rare cases a brother will sign on the second line and ask another brother to sign on the top line because of this tradition.


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## Radical540

rfuller said:


> All of these are excellent suggestions.  I was in your shoes 10 years ago.  Tonight I'll be giving my lodge's first lecture in at least 10 years.  Change takes time.  Sometimes it takes a few new faces with new perspective to get the ball rolling.  My lecture tonight is actually about this exact thing, but it seems like you are on the right path.
> 
> Before you get too antsy and jump ship, I think you need to buckle down and get through those degrees.  Your zeal is commendable, but don't forget why Entered Apprentices wear their aprons the way they do.
> 
> All that said, I'd like to echo a few things, and point out a few more.  First, every lodge has it's own personality.  Some lodges are dark this time of year and flourish in the summer.  At my lodge, it's the opposite.  December was our biggest turnout without a crisis to be discussed.  In June, we had to make all kinds of last minute phone calls to get enough brethren to open this year's Lodge of Sorrow.
> 
> I would also give the Brethren a chance to get to know you better.  And I would try to get to know THEM better as well.  Some lodges have problems with people never turning in their EA proficiency and never being heard from again.  Some lodges rarely have EA's and don't know how to interact with them due to fear of revealing something from the other degrees, using the wrong due guard, etc...  And a degree is hard to put on in December.  One of our EA's turned in proficiency in December, and we told him he's going to have to wait until February for us to have a proper degree team.  Our brethren have all kinds of outside obligations this time of year.  In fact, we're voting on changing our floor practice night to allow for more people on our degree team.  Things change, and sometimes lodges have a hard time keeping up with that change.  It's all part of the process.
> 
> Be patient. You're a Freemason for life.  Being a Mason is a pursuit.  Maybe it's not the lodge for you.  But maybe you haven't given it a chance yet.  And maybe you are their only hope for change.
> 
> Good luck, brother.  Let us know how things are going as they progress.



*Great response!  Thanks Brother Fuller!*
Here's where I think my "expectations" have perhaps gone awry.....
_*First*_....as I already mentioned, perhaps I've READ too much, and taken my reading a little to literal. I need to adjust my thought processes and expectations.  Thank you all for making me aware..
_*Secondly*_, having been raised by a very religious mother, I took to the notion that attendance in masonry proceedings was of the same "*you BETTER be there*" mentality as going to Sunday mass and all holy days of obligation.  
I know now, that it's not that stringent at all.   Unfortunately for me, (whether it's a blessing or a curse I don't know) I'm the type that when I commit to something I wholeheartedly COMMIT, always punctual and I'm never sick at sea.   Right now I work full time, and I'm also in school FULL-TIME too; on top of being married, I have a son & running the household.  So I kinda of look at it as "if I can make it happen, why can't you?"   But that is the million dollar question I'm sure.   But I digress....

All in all, it's been a matter of adjusting my perspectives as well as my expectations-- which I can easily do!


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## Radical540

dfreybur said:


> Think of the physical petition paper.  It had at least two lines for recommenders to sign on.  The first to sign usually does so on the top line.  In most lodges there is a presumption that he will be your mentor.  In rare cases a brother will sign on the second line and ask another brother to sign on the top line because of this tradition.



Got it!  Understood.  (didn't know that, since after I turned it I never saw it again)


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## Browncoat

Additional perspective:

There are 2 Lodges in my town. One is a Masonic Temple...it's a beautiful building inside and out. It's not a cathedral, but the Lodge itself is very large and very nice. Most of the members are local businessmen, white collar types. It's pretty much everything I had preconceived what Masonry would be. The other Lodge is in a rural area. It's a bit run down and very small, and there is wood paneling on the walls downstairs. The members are mostly blue collar guys, and membership is a lot less.

I chose the Farmer's Lodge. The Brothers there were much more personable, and I would have a better opportunity to become involved, maybe even be an officer someday. In short, I think in the grand scheme of things, I'll get more out of and be able to put more into a smaller Lodge.


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## Radical540

Browncoat said:


> Additional perspective:
> 
> There are 2 Lodges in my town. One is a Masonic Temple...it's a beautiful building inside and out. It's not a cathedral, but the Lodge itself is very large and very nice. Most of the members are local businessmen, white collar types. It's pretty much everything I had preconceived what Masonry would be. The other Lodge is in a rural area. It's a bit run down and very small, and there is wood paneling on the walls downstairs. The members are mostly blue collar guys, and membership is a lot less.
> 
> I chose the Farmer's Lodge. The Brothers there were much more personable, and I would have a better opportunity to become involved, maybe even be an officer someday. In short, I think in the grand scheme of things, I'll get more out of and be able to put more into a smaller Lodge.



Thanks Browncoat!  Now that you put that perspective out there; I respectfully feel I would prefer the opposite. 

Now I'm not trying to segregate professions at all; but as they say "_birds of a feather, flock together_"  -or- "_while in Rome, do as the Romans_".  That being said, most of the guys at my lodge are more blue-collar types with little education beyond high school; not to say that's bad in the least, and I could careless honestly- it's just the facts.  Myself, I've also worked in a white-collar profession, and in May 2014, I'll complete my Master's degree.
You're definitely on to a perspective I've yet to hear or consider.......  Thanks for throwing this perspective out there...


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## Radical540

Greetings Brothers...

Back in January 2014, I started this post.  Here we are now in (almost) June 2014.  The situation of my lodge has taken a drastic turn.  Due to lack of attendance and participation, our WM has been forced under duress to seek a "merger" with another lodge that shares our same building.  (I found it interesting that I seemed to foresee this way back in January - even as a new EA with little experience whatsoever.)   I must say though, I for one am happy this is transpiring; and for a few reasons.  *1)* The lodge we will (likely) be merging with has a much higher level of cameraderie that our current lodge; they take being a Mason VERY serious.  *2)* They meet every Wednesday instead of just once a month. *3)* They follow the prescribed masonic dress code,  *4) *They have enough brother to actually perform degree work!! and lastly........*5)* Fortunately, (or unfortunately depending on your outlook) this merger will likely drop/lose the _dead-weight_" that belongs to our current lodge.  I wish I didn't have to come across like that, but if you can't make it to a single meeting for a few hours once a month.....we won't miss your ultimate departure.  I've heard all the "explanatory" excuses on this forum and at lodge - but the bottom line to me is that once a month isn't much. (no further explanations necessary). If you call yourself a bowler, you gotta show up to league every week, otherwise you're not much of a bowler.  Or better...just because I have a bag with some golf clubs in it - yet I never use them, doesn't make me  a "Golfer"!    P*eople can truly make time when they want to. * (As _Jon Taffer_ from the TV show "Bar Rescue" would say:  ".._..I don't embrace excuses, I embrace solutions..._."
I received my FC back in February, but unfortunately myself and other brother have been unwittingly "dormant" in our FC status because our lodge brothers don't seem to be able to make time for degree practice sessions, much less an actual degree.
Nonetheless......I'll post more as the inevitable merger evolves....
Cheers Brothers!


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## Levelhead

Edited.


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## Levelhead

Just read your above post! Glad things are turning formmthe better!


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## JFS61

Radical540 said:


> Got it!  Understood.  (didn't know that, since after I turned it I never saw it again)



This may be a part of the problem (at least the way that it reads from your description), is that you joined a lodge without knowing any of the brethren beforehand, as one is usually friends with (or at least acquaintances) at least with your top line signer (and most, if not all, of the recommenders). If so, that would explain the somewhat cool reception by many of the brethren towards you (especially if you're just an EA), as they just haven't had the time (or opportunity) to get to know you yet.

As others have said, give it time, and if you still feel the same way after having gone through all the degrees, then would be the time to start looking for another lodge (but not until then).


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## Radical540

I think my "update" reply must be getting misconstrued...
My lodge is being merged because none of the existing Master Mason can manage to show up to regular meetings....
Nothing more, nothing less....


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## JFS61

Is there no longer anyway to edit posts?


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## Bill Lins

At the bottom of your post, to the right of the time & date of the post, click on "Edit".


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## JFS61

I'm not finding an "Edit" button to the right of the Date/Time stamp, just "Report and "Bookmark."


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## Blake Bowden

Edits can't be made after a period of time.

Sent From My Freemasonry Pro App


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## Bill Lins

Who knew?


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## KSigMason

I'm sorry to hear about this experience. Coachn said it right, finish the progression and find a Lodge that fits; maybe after progression you find that you fit in. Sometimes it can take time, but only you can decide this.

He may have just been crass in making the holiday statement, but I wasn't there so I can't say. That sucks though on the birthday; that is disheartening. I try to make Lodge educational and interesting, and at least with my officers I have an active interest. And everything we do we invite our new members to join in on; Lodge visitations, BBQs, etc. For my SW's birthday a bunch of us are going to his father's property for the weekend, and my SD and I both turn 30 this year so we're having a combined party.


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## Willys

As I read responses to your post I kept agreeing that you should finish the work.  Another Lodge typically wouldn't have been in favor of taking a candidate for the degrees from another Lodge.  Reason, you can start with the paper work involved.

One can't know what a Lodge is going to be like - what to expect - unless you have other social exposure to its membership.  But if you take just a belief in Diety, you're there for a reason.

I was fortunate in my Lodge selection.  It was originally a small town Lodge though the area was slowly being swallowed by Houston's growth.  The membership had plenty of well educated brothers mixed with some good ol country boys who got their hands dirty for work.  And there was a _'new'_ Lodge that met in our building with guys who worked in the same industry as I and probably would have been a good match _'professionally'_.  The attire difference between the two lodges, while not extreme was obvious.  I preferred my Lodge.  It's was just a chance that the Lodge I petitioned was the Lodge meeting the night I opened the door.

After my degrees I had a Brother who was well versed in _'all things secret'_ and who took me under his wing to teach me all those _'secrets'_.  In the process he took me to at least a dozen different Lodges in south east Texas.  Some very country, one the Texas lodge deemed _#1_.  That would be country men in khakis and work shirts to corporate executives in fine suits.  None conferred a better degree than my Lodge in our jeans and boots, and paneled walls.  The degree quality largely thanks to my aforementioned mentor.

Oh yeah, and some of those country khaki guys might have owned half the county.  There's more mystery to Masonry than being shown the light.  The rest of your life will be finding the light in the darkness and most of that won't be in a Lodge building.  But once you have those degrees you'll be ready to get to work.

Hang in there


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## Radical540

Willys said:


> As I read responses to your post I kept agreeing that you should finish the work.  Another Lodge typically wouldn't have been in favor of taking a candidate for the degrees from another Lodge.  Reason, you can start with the paper work involved.
> 
> One can't know what a Lodge is going to be like - what to expect - unless you have other social exposure to its membership.  But if you take just a belief in Diety, you're there for a reason.
> 
> I was fortunate in my Lodge selection.  It was originally a small town Lodge though the area was slowly being swallowed by Houston's growth.  The membership had plenty of well educated brothers mixed with some good ol country boys who got their hands dirty for work.  And there was a _'new'_ Lodge that met in our building with guys who worked in the same industry as I and probably would have been a good match _'professionally'_.  The attire difference between the two lodges, while not extreme was obvious.  I preferred my Lodge.  It's was just a chance that the Lodge I petitioned was the Lodge meeting the night I opened the door.
> 
> After my degrees I had a Brother who was well versed in _'all things secret'_ and who took me under his wing to teach me all those _'secrets'_.  In the process he took me to at least a dozen different Lodges in south east Texas.  Some very country, one the Texas lodge deemed _#1_.  That would be country men in khakis and work shirts to corporate executives in fine suits.  None conferred a better degree than my Lodge in our jeans and boots, and paneled walls.  The degree quality largely thanks to my aforementioned mentor.
> 
> Oh yeah, and some of those country khaki guys might have owned half the county.  There's more mystery to Masonry than being shown the light.  The rest of your life will be finding the light in the darkness and most of that won't be in a Lodge building.  But once you have those degrees you'll be ready to get to work.
> 
> Hang in there


Well written...very introspective. Thanks for the feedback!


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## Warrior1256

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I was greeted warmly and made to feel at home at the first lodge that I visited, the one I am now a member of.


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