# Bill Lins is kicked out of Target



## owls84

After Bill retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to Target.  

Unfortunately, like most men, Bill found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse.  

The other day Bill's dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Lins,  

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our  store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Lins, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:  

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.  

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute  
intervals.  

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.  

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.  

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.  

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.  

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.  

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.  

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.  

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.  

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.  

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.  

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'  

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'  

And last, but not least:  

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.


----------



## Dave in Waco

Lmao!!!


----------



## david918

LAMO the things poor Linda has to put up with:w00t::w00t:


----------



## JTM

not surprised.


----------



## JohnnyFlotsam

Bart Simpson himself could not have pulled off better pranks.


----------



## Bro. Stewart P.M.

Lmao!!


----------



## turtle

oldie but goodie...lol


----------



## Ratcheson

ROFL!! That is awesome.


----------



## Bill Lins

Alcohol _may_ have been involved...  :wink:


----------



## Bill Lins

david918 said:


> LAMO the things poor Linda has to put up with:w00t::w00t:


 
Especially on September 4th- that was her birthday!  :lol:


----------



## Bro. Stewart P.M.

Bill_Lins77488 said:


> Alcohol _may_ have been involved...  :wink:



Lush.


----------



## Bill Lins

Bro. Stewart said:


> Lush.


 
You're just jealous.  :wink: :8:


----------



## Bro. Stewart P.M.

Bill_Lins77488 said:


> You're just jealous.



Well, YEAH! Why wasn't I invited??? That brings me back to my younger and wilder days.... intoxicated running around Walmart.

Umm, err... maybe I should not disclose that... ummm..


----------



## Bill Lins

OK- here's the plan: next year @ Grand Lodge, we close down Cricket's on Friday night & go find us a Target or WallyWorld!  :lol:


----------



## Bro. Stewart P.M.

Bill_Lins77488 said:


> OK- here's the plan: next year @ Grand Lodge, we close down Cricket's on Friday night & go find us a Target or WallyWorld!



Deal!!


----------



## Dave in Waco

Bill_Lins77488 said:


> OK- here's the plan: next year @ Grand Lodge, we close down Cricket's on Friday night & go find us a Target or WallyWorld! :lol:



As long as it's not the WallyWorld I shop at. lol


----------



## Bill Lins

Well, _that's_ pretty narrow-minded!  :wink:


----------



## swole

I was laughing so much. I have a very vivid imagination and imagine him actually doing those things. Too funny!


----------



## Bill Lins

Moi?


----------



## JTM

Bill_Lins77488 said:
			
		

> Moi?



No.  Never.  : cough :


----------

