# I've initiated a contact but then no more replies



## AyrStrat (Jul 24, 2018)

Dear all,

For many years I've been reading and gathering information about Freemasonry. Now, I've finally decided to seek my initiation (I'm in the mid 30s)

The next step was to contact (email) a mason indicated by a friend, who then, referred me to another mason who lives in my state.

We've initiated contact via Whatsapp some months ago, had an initial conversation by phone and agreed to meet in person to move things forward after both of us return from business trips.

After returning, I've written to inform that I've arrived (it happened 1 month ago) but since then I received no more replies (Whatsapp shows the message as unread).

I'm not sure how to proceed here since I don't want to be pushy and I also don't know the proper etiquette in this case.

What would be a good next move, since I'm really interested in become a Freemason?

Thanks

Kind Regards


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## hfmm97 (Jul 24, 2018)

In what country are you located? We are not really able to assist candidates outside the USA/Canada and then only in our respective states/provinces...


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## AyrStrat (Jul 24, 2018)

hfmm97 said:


> In what country are you located? We are not really able to assist candidates outside the USA/Canada and then only in our respective states/provinces...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using My Freemasonry mobile app



I live in Houston, Texas.

Thanks once again.


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## hfmm97 (Jul 24, 2018)

Wonderful! Go to the Grand Lodge of Texas website and go to the lodge locator menu and find a lodge close to where you live or work - then visit them by arriving 1 hour before their stated meeting. If you don’t know anyone there, expect to visit the lodge a few times before they will be able to give you a petition.
This process is not a quick one-could take months...


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## hfmm97 (Jul 24, 2018)

Visiting a lodge unannounced is NOT pushy and happens quite regularly.


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## AyrStrat (Jul 24, 2018)

Excellent. I'll check the times on the website and be there 1 hour before, then. According to other threads in this Forum, the recommendation in this case is to wear a black suit and tie, right?

Regarding the contact with the mister that I was in touch, is a follow up something not recommended? I've send one and only message 1 month ago, which was the only message that he hasn't read/replied since we've started the contact.

Thanks


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## hfmm97 (Jul 24, 2018)

A black suit and tie for your initial visit is fine-you will find that in most lodges only officers wear suits and ties (and rarely tuxedos).
If the contact that you spoke to is unresponsive then I highly recommend that you TAKE the initiative to approach the lodge(s) which you are interested in and talk to the officers there and see if there’s a “fit” for you.

For the same reasons we do not generally solicit men to be Masons, you must be assertive throughout the entire process.
Do NOT be in a rush - you are looking at from 3 to 6 months to fill out the petition, find Masons that can be your sponsors, go through an extensive background check, go through at least 3 interviews-then be voted upon


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## hfmm97 (Jul 24, 2018)

And when I joined 22 years ago, my first year’s costs were about US$500.00 to include degree fees, first year’s dues and charity contributions- each lodge varies


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## AyrStrat (Jul 24, 2018)

Many thanks for the clarification and guidance once again.


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## CLewey44 (Jul 25, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Dear all,
> 
> For many years I've been reading and gathering information about Freemasonry. Now, I've finally decided to seek my initiation (I'm in the mid 30s)
> 
> ...




Does TX go 'dark' in June/July/Aug?


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## rpbrown (Jul 25, 2018)

CLewey44 said:


> Does TX go 'dark' in June/July/Aug?



A few do but most do not.


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## dfreybur (Jul 25, 2018)

In the US never wait even one second on response to any type of correspondence no matter what type.  Many lodges are terrible at responding even to their own members.  But there is a reason: We are an in person organization not a pen pal system.  All that correspondence stuff is exclusively to let you know when and where to show up, and that information is posted on our physical door anyways.

Show up in person.  We're an in person organization with no invitations so it's the one and only way to go.  You have to take the firs step, where the word step is completely literal meaning with your feet.  You have to show up to introduce yourself and ask how to become one of us, where again the word introduce meanings in person.


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## MarkR (Jul 26, 2018)

dfreybur said:


> Show up in person.  We're an in person organization with no invitations so it's the one and only way to go.


One of our Past Grand Masters always says "Masonry is done belly-to-belly."


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## hfmm97 (Jul 26, 2018)

dfreybur said:


> In the US never wait even one second on response to any type of correspondence no matter what type.  Many lodges are terrible at responding even to their own members.  But there is a reason: We are an in person organization not a pen pal system.  All that correspondence stuff is exclusively to let you know when and where to show up, and that information is posted on our physical door anyways.
> 
> Show up in person.  We're an in person organization with no invitations so it's the one and only way to go.  You have to take the firs step, where the word step is completely literal meaning with your feet.  You have to show up to introduce yourself and ask how to become one of us, where again the word introduce meanings in person.



As most of your postings: eloquent, informative, and interesting! I am honored to have you on this forum my Brother!


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## hfmm97 (Jul 26, 2018)

Some of your postings are routine FYI only 


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## Thomas Stright (Jul 26, 2018)

hfmm97 said:


> And when I joined 22 years ago, my first year’s costs were about US$500.00 to include degree fees, first year’s dues and *charity contributions*- each lodge varies



What lodge has mandatory charity contributions?


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## hfmm97 (Jul 26, 2018)

‘Mandatory’ is the wrong word - meant to say that a part of your EA degree fees go to certain charitable groups within Masonry



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## hfmm97 (Jul 26, 2018)

And you get a nice certificate for doing so, at least in Texas


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## bupton52 (Jul 27, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> I live in Houston, Texas.
> 
> Thanks once again.



What side/area of town are you on?


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## Warrior1256 (Jul 27, 2018)

hfmm97 said:


> Wonderful! Go to the Grand Lodge of Texas website





hfmm97 said:


> A black suit and tie for your initial visit is fine


Excellent advice. When not sure of dress standards JMHO it is much better to be the only one present in a coat and tie than the other way around


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## cemab4y (Aug 29, 2018)

see
http://www.masonicinfo.com/approaching.htm


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## Warrior1256 (Aug 29, 2018)

cemab4y said:


> see
> http://www.masonicinfo.com/approaching.htm


I'm a big fan of this site.


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## dfreybur (Aug 29, 2018)

Thomas Stright said:


> What lodge has mandatory charity contributions?



We recently passed a change to our degree fees to make them net $100 each degree for candidates not already in the pipeline.  The amount is different for each degree because of contributions that are included to bring the net up to $100.  Part of the first is a contribution to the George Washington Masonic Memorial in Washington, DC (might not count as a charity, but it is broadly charitable). Part of the third is a contribution to the Masonic Charities in Texas.  At least this part is a mandatory charity contribution.


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## AyrStrat (Sep 3, 2018)

Thanks everyone for the help on this topic.

Just an update as things went: I've been visiting one lodge's open sessions, introducing myself and interacting with members.

I became close to two of the members because of our professional background and one of them already interacted with my family at some point in the past.

The website http://www.masonicinfo.com/ is great and I'm relying in some of its recommendations.

During this period of introductions and mutual knowledge gathering, how long should I wait before asking for a petition?

Thanks again and appreciate your help.


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## LK600 (Sep 4, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> During this period of introductions and mutual knowledge gathering, how long should I wait before asking for a petition?



That is up to you.  If you feel comfortable, and like what you have found, ask away.


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## Rifleman1776 (Sep 6, 2018)

I am really turned off with the coat and tie requirement. In Arkansas and Missouri (my Lodge is in MO, I live in Arkansas) there is no dress code. We dress as we live. I believe we should accept a man/Mason for his internal values and not judge on the externals. Personally, I probably would not have joined if coat and tie were required and, today, would not attend. I don't think I am any less a man or Mason wearing jeans and sneakers than I would be in a suit.


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## Keith C (Sep 6, 2018)

Rifleman1776 said:


> I am really turned off with the coat and tie requirement. In Arkansas and Missouri (my Lodge is in MO, I live in Arkansas) there is no dress code. We dress as we live. I believe we should accept a man/Mason for his internal values and not judge on the externals. Personally, I probably would not have joined if coat and tie were required and, today, would not attend. I don't think I am any less a man or Mason wearing jeans and sneakers than I would be in a suit.



A counterpoint.

If everyone dresses as they wish it would show a distinction between Brothers of different socioeconomic groups.  As most meeting are timed to have not a lot of time between work and Lodge most Brothers would arrive at Lodge directly from work, if there were no uniform dress requirement.  Those wearing jeans and sneakers, those in slacks and a polo, those in a suit and tie.  This immediately reveals a stratification in the type of work everyone does, which puts a burden on "meeting on the level," no matter how much one says they "wouldn't judge."

Everyone being required to wear a suit and tie brings us in closer to being on the level. It wouldn't HAVE to be a suit and tie, maybe khakis and a lodge polo shirt?  But everyone dressing similarly helps to let us see each other without influence of clothing choice or necessity.

I would also add that it is my opinion that the "casualization" (I just made that word up) of society is a big part of the breakdown in civility and the increase in anti-social behavior.  Going out to a fine dining establishment use to require a jacket and tie, now jeans and a clean t-shirt are ok!  People now come to church dressed for the NFL game they are going to watch afterwards, and they get agitated if the sermon runs long and they are going to miss a pre-game beer or two.

Anyway, I digress and just offer this as my 2 cents.


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## CLewey44 (Sep 6, 2018)

Keith C said:


> A counterpoint.
> 
> If everyone dresses as they wish it would show a distinction between Brothers of different socioeconomic groups.  As most meeting are timed to have not a lot of time between work and Lodge most Brothers would arrive at Lodge directly from work, if there were no uniform dress requirement.  Those wearing jeans and sneakers, those in slacks and a polo, those in a suit and tie.  This immediately reveals a stratification in the type of work everyone does, which puts a burden on "meeting on the level," no matter how much one says they "wouldn't judge."
> 
> ...




I don't like this comment....I love it. Whole-heartedly agree. Great points.

Btw, if you can't afford a suit/tie or refuse to conform then Masonry may not be for you. (not you, Keith but the petitioner) It's that simple really.


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## MarkR (Sep 7, 2018)

I've visited lodges here in Minnesota where the attire was tuxedos, lodges where the attire was shorts and tee shirts, and all levels in between.  I enjoyed the experience at all of them.  I really wish Masons would stop worrying about how somebody else's lodge dresses.


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## LK600 (Sep 7, 2018)

CLewey44 said:


> Btw, if you can't afford a suit/tie....



I would suggest to those Brothers checking out the local Goodwill.  They usually have several dozen suits in good order for dirt cheap.  It's extremely cheap to have a suit altered as well (compared to buying new).


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## dfreybur (Sep 7, 2018)

One of the reasons I like the idea of coat and tie, or at least a fixed dress code by meeting type, is it helps level us.

I've sat in lodge with a Brother on  one side who has to save to pay his annual dues and gets his coat at a local thrift shop.  On the other side was a Brother was a net worth well into the millions who keeps a few older more worn coats to wear to lodge.  You'd have to know both for several years to know the difference in their financial status.

But it is also true that the trend to going casual is easily overdone.  Especially in the heat of summer it can be miserable to even walk in from the parking lot wearing a sports jacket so there's environmental pressure to dress down.  One ends up in a hand made tropical shirt; another wears a tee shirt that has lost its color.


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## Thomas Stright (Sep 7, 2018)

I will say if a suit and tie was required for all meetings, I would of most likely not joined my lodge. 

Just my .02 but how a man dresses does not influence how he is seen or treated by myself. 


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## Rifleman1776 (Sep 7, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Dear all,
> 
> For many years I've been reading and gathering information about Freemasonry. Now, I've finally decided to seek my initiation (I'm in the mid 30s)
> 
> ...




You should ask for a petition at the first opportunity.  Various jurisdictions and even individual Lodges have a rule, or tradition, that no one is ever asked to join Masonry.  You must ask. Some even pretend to ignore initial requests and will not give a petition until you have requested three times.  To me, that makes no sense but is the way it is some places. Don't be shy, ask. Good luck.


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## LK600 (Sep 7, 2018)

dfreybur said:


> One of the reasons I like the idea of coat and tie, or at least a fixed dress code by meeting type, is it helps level us



While I completely agree, a suit in Florida can be a painfully warm proposition lol.


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## AyrStrat (Sep 25, 2018)

Rifleman1776 said:


> You should ask for a petition at the first opportunity.  Various jurisdictions and even individual Lodges have a rule, or tradition, that no one is ever asked to join Masonry.  You must ask. Some even pretend to ignore initial requests and will not give a petition until you have requested three times.  To me, that makes no sense but is the way it is some places. Don't be shy, ask. Good luck.




Thanks for the reply.

I've been visiting the lodge for open diners every week for almost 2 months.

I know that some lodges determine 1 or even 3 sponsors for applying for the petition, which should be something natural for me, anyway.

Therefore, is the procedure, in this case, basically talking to one of the members (Master Mason) and asking for a petition?

Thanks once again for the support.

Kind Regards


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## Keith C (Sep 25, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I've been visiting the lodge for open diners every week for almost 2 months.
> 
> ...



In most jurisdictions, yes, YOU have to ASK for the petition.  I suggest you ask either the WM or whoever in the lodge you feel closest too.


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## CLewey44 (Sep 26, 2018)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Thanks for the reply.
> 
> I've been visiting the lodge for open diners every week for almost 2 months.
> 
> ...


Bro. Keith hit the nail on the head. You have to ask or you'll never get in. Masons love talking about Freemasonry and certainly get a good feeling when someone shows interest in joining. You will never be bothersome for asking.


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## AyrStrat (Feb 4, 2019)

Just to give an update to inform that everything went all right and my initiation will be in a couple of days.

Proactivity was the key.

Kind Regards


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## Warrior1256 (Feb 5, 2019)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Just to give an update an inform that everything went all right and my initiation will be in a couple of days.


Great! Let us know how it goes.


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## Bloke (Feb 6, 2019)

SouthernLleyton said:


> Just to give an update an inform that everything went all right and my initiation will be in a couple of days.
> 
> Pro activity was the key.
> 
> Kind Regards


Congratulations - for the up and coming initiation and being proactive.. it will serve you well in Freemasonry.


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