# Ready to join but think I might have ruined my chances.



## Dobby12 (Jul 14, 2017)

I've been wanting to be a Freemason for a long time but until now I didn't have the courage to go forward with it.

But unfortunately a few years ago I did something foolish and I feel I might have ruined my chances.
Basically I was going through a rough time - I had been downsized from my previously good job.

I managed to get a very stressful and dangerous job to keep the lights on and feed my family - but during that time I started drinking too much to deal with the stress of the job.

So to make a long story shorter - one night while drunk and going for a walk late at night, I walked past a local lodge which had a lamp light on in its study which caught my attention. Because I've been tempted to be a mason forever I was very curious so I walked up to the porch of the lodge.. and the door was open/unlocked.
I walked in and nobody was there so I sat down and turned on the TV which seemed to be playing a Mason orientation video and I read one of the books on the self.. and I walked around and looked around the lodge.
Somehow trespassing on private property didn't seem like an extremely dumb idea with a large amount of alcohol in my system even though it's nothing I would have done while sober.

So anyways, the next day, after sobering up I realized how incredibly stupid I was - and frankly nervous I might get into legal trouble since they have cameras all around the building.
After talking about my stupidity with my wife- I decided I should just call a local Mason and admit what I did, and apologize and offer to do some free work or something to make up for it.

So I looked up the numbers of local masons and tried to call several of them. Left messages and didn't get any call backs.
Only one person called back after several days and left me a voice-mail message and he seemed  pretty annoyed in his message that I had called his phone too many times. I admit I probably did call too many times but
I was just very anxious about wanting to get my confession over with trying to find someone who would call me back.

At that point I gave up trying to get anyone on the phone - and just decided I would make 1 attempt to go to the lodge and knock on the door. If anyone answered I would admit what I did - if not I would give up and not bother anyone else.

Well, in my luck two Masons were in the lodge and they listened dutifully to my confession. I apologized and offered to do free computer work or volunteer work to make up for my bad behavior and also said I planned to quit drinking so I didn't do anything like that again.
I left my name and number.
One of the Masons was very nice to me - and said I was very honorable.

Since that time I have stopped drinking  - and my employment situation is stable and everything is much better.
And I would like to apply to my local lodge but I am worried that I will be rejected because of what happened.

I have a clean record and that is the only really bad thing I have done BUT I know character is important and I'm afraid I might have ruined my chances by:
(1) Being a lawless drunk.
and
(2) Phone bombing them.

Two things I regret and have learned from.

I do realize I could apply to another nearby lodge but I would really prefer to join the local lodge of my town if they would have me, and frankly I think the people in the other local lodges are going to be like "Why are you coming here instead of your own town?".

So, what would you do?


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## BullDozer Harrell (Jul 14, 2017)

It's entirely up to the Lodge you plan to petition. But it doesn't appear that you're a bad guy. In fact, you come across as pretty much damn human. Go for it is my advice. Otherwise you’ll never know for sure the outcome.


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## goomba (Jul 14, 2017)

How long ago did this happen?


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## CLewey44 (Jul 14, 2017)

I think being honest and up front is good. I can't say you'll get accepted or not but it's better they know now than find out later. If you put in that work and money to become a MM and all the sudden you're brought up on Masonic charges potentially, that'd be tough.


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## Dobby12 (Jul 14, 2017)

BullDozer Harrell said:


> It's entirely up to the Lodge you plan to petition. But it doesn't appear that you're a bad guy. In fact, you come across as pretty much damn human. Go for it is my advice. Otherwise you’ll never know for sure the outcome.


Thanks- I'm leaning towards taking your advice and going for it, otherwise you're right i'll always wonder. I did feel a really good personal connection with one of the lads I talked to so I was thinking I would just reach out to him since he would know the history since I confessed to him in person, and he might be willing to guide me. 


goomba said:


> How long ago did this happen?


It happened about 2-3 years ago. My wife knows i've always wanted to be a Mason and when I told her she was like "Well, you know if you wanted to join that lodge you might have just ruined that chance." 
I do have a gut feeling that I was probably talked about after - since one of the well respected Masons in town works at the local trash station and I always wave at him... in the days after he had a funny grin like he knew about what happened. I could be just reading into it though.
So I tried to just focus on bettering myself and working hard but I started feeling the nudge strongly again.


CLewey44 said:


> I think being honest and up front is good. I can't say you'll get accepted or not but it's better they know now than find out later. If you put in that work and money to become a MM and all the sudden you're brought up on Masonic charges potentially, that'd be tough.


I had wondered if I should bring it up myself or should I just say I want to join and only bring it up if they do.
I mean for all I know I care about it a lot more then they do and I might actually just hurt my chances by bringing it up again instead of moving forward.
I had not heard of masonic charges until you mentioned it. I googled it and it seems to be about bad behavior once you are a mason and you violate your oath unless i'm reading it wrong?


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## BullDozer Harrell (Jul 14, 2017)

CLewey44 said:


> I think being honest and up front is good. I can't say you'll get accepted or not but it's better they know now than find out later. If you put in that work and money to become a MM and all the sudden you're brought up on Masonic charges potentially, that'd be tough.


@CLewey44, do you think it would be prudent for a lodge to reach back in time and try a member who has petitioned, passed an interview and received all 3 degrees? What kind of WM would allow such a trial? After hearing a presentation of charges which has to include specifics like dates, times, places etc, i'd imagine most WMs would rule out any further action especially upon discovery that the alleged events took place BEFORE membership. 

It would be more fitting to exile the Investigation Committee members to Siberia.  After doing such, round up every lodge member who voted positively to accept the Committee's favorable report on petitioner and stone them behind the Temple. The Lodge officers respectfully saving themselves to be stoned last.


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## Brother_Steve (Jul 14, 2017)

I think you made a mountain out of a molehill.


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## Dobby12 (Jul 14, 2017)

Brother_Steve said:


> I think you made a mountain out of a molehill.


Yep, I've considered that might be the case. So do you have any advice for now going foward?


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## Brother_Steve (Jul 14, 2017)

Dobby12 said:


> Yep, I've considered that might be the case. So do you have any advice for now going foward?


You have to petition because you will never know if you don't try. Not trying is basically the equivalent of casting a cube against yourself.

You entered the lodge because you thought someone was there. You had the cognitive ability to realize no one was there and you left.

My only question is about the drinking. Were you binge drinking because of work? Did it turn to full blown alcoholism?

I would not worry about the phone calls. If the man you were calling would pick up or return the call, that situation would have been avoided.


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## Bloke (Jul 14, 2017)

Dobby12 said:


> I've been wanting to be a Freemason for a long time but until now I didn't have the courage to go forward with it.
> 
> But unfortunately a few years ago I did something foolish and I feel I might have ruined my chances.
> Basically I was going through a rough time - I had been downsized from my previously good job.
> ...



Two things
1. You're human
2. Freemasons are human

And you did something a bit dumb while under the influence and probably made more of it that you should, the phone bombing would have given me more reservations... If you'd carried off the TV or showed disrespect, I'd be worried if you came knocking but did appear not to have done anything beyond making yourself at home in a space you probably should not have been in. Not smart, but I'd be interested in how you present today and would not have any interest in your drunken visit. It will make a good story on your 50th anniversary of becoming a Freemason..


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## LK600 (Jul 15, 2017)

I'm not sure it's as big a deal as you may think as well.  You did something stupid with no ill intent, and then turned around and told on yourself.  All of this took place 2-3 years ago.  I could see them taking some extra time to get to know you better, but while anything is possible, I'm not sure they would turn you down for that alone.  One things is clear though... you what know till you try.

Look at it this way... if you get in, you won't need anyone to show you around!


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## PhoenixPelican99 (Jul 15, 2017)

I didn't have to read farther than to see your question.  You have only to answer to yourself in the matters of your eligibility.  You have much to learn about the ways of Masonry.  You need not be judged or judge yourself.  The latter is the ultimate challenge of self mastery. 

Take your time.  You will know when the right time is.  There is no 'joining or not joining' you either are that person or you are not. 

The mere entry of the idea into your mind means that there is something more to explore. 

Again,  take your time......


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## flameburns623 (Jul 16, 2017)

If you have a lifelong pattern of doing "dumb things" under the influence, you need to address your issues with alcohol more than you need to petition the Lodge.  

If you indulge in neuroses-driven compulsive behavior such as phone bombing frequently, you have emotional issues for which counseling and possibly medication might well be a first priority. 

Counseling might be fruitful in any case, because your interactions here suggest some insecurities or issues you might need to address in order to be a well adjusted, contented,  and more self-confident adult man. 

Such a need for help, however, probably wouldn't precluded joining the Lodge, nor would it even need to be discussed as part of the process of joining a Masonic Order. 

We do not receive into membership fully blown "madmen", but that refers to those who are fully detached from reality,  at least as I understand it.

If the entire thing: the drunken visit, the phone-bombing behavior,  etcetera, were a consequnce of anxiety created by a stressful and unsuitable job, and you are now much more adjusted and happier, then petition. 

Discuss the incident with the interview commitee, but I doubt it will be perceived as a vital issue.


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## Warrior1256 (Jul 16, 2017)

Go for it! What do you have to lose?


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## JJones (Jul 16, 2017)

So you didn't really do anything wrong except for trespass? Honestly, I doubt anybody would have even noticed if you hadn't said anything to them and unless I missed something, you didn't really do anything -that- bad (yes, trespassing is illegal but it's not like you broke or stole anything).

We've *all* done stupid things when we were younger.



Dobby12 said:


> So do you have any advice for now going forward?



Take one step at a time and just keep going.


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## BullDozer Harrell (Jul 16, 2017)

LK600 said:


> I'm not sure it's as big a deal as you may think as well.  You did something stupid with no ill intent, and then turned around and told on yourself.  All of this took place 2-3 years ago.  I could see them taking some extra time to get to know you better, but while anything is possible, I'm not sure they would turn you down for that alone.  One things is clear though... you what know till you try.
> 
> Look at it this way... if you get in, you won't need anyone to show you around!


Lol. Indeed he did tell on himself. That's called having a conscience and remorse. Just the thing that makes a man better after doing something stupid.


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