# Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wants



## fasttito (Jan 22, 2014)

Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?

Thank you


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## PHA KD#50 (Jan 22, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

That's a tough one brother, I don't really have any advice but I wish you the best in dealing with this issue and I will definitely pray that the Great Architect gives you wisdom... /G\ 


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## K3vin (Jan 22, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

This is a similar problem that I have seen in my own life.

My grandfather was a mason for 68 years. I became a mason last year, I am 44, so my grandfather has been a mason my whole life.

When I was about 7 my mother started bringing me to church, where I learned of the "evils of the world" rock and roll music, any alcohol, the occult, and Masonry, for a short example of the list. I was told many reasons and was read many scripture passages that "proved" that Masonry was "evil". It wasn't until I actually started learning about Masonry (from actual Masons) that I realized that there is no "evil" associated with our fraternity.

I would bet that the objections are based on fear and speculation, based on the fact that they have no knowledge of what we really are as a fraternity.

The suggestion I would make is to educate your wife as to what we really stand for. I recently read "Freemasonry For Dummies" because I have seen it recommended here by a few brothers and it was very good at explaining what we really are.

I hope this helps Brother. 

Kevin


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## Zaden (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



fasttito said:


> Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?
> 
> Thank you
> 
> ...



As a humble EA, I won't attempt to offer advice beyond what has been said, perhaps there is a lack of education on what the Craft stands for that you can rectify. 

I would like to ask about the Tuesday meeting of your church. Having been raised among Methodists and baptists (and with Catholic and Mormon friends) this is the first I've heard of a church meeting on Tuesdays (Wednesdays being the most common other than Sundays). What denomination is this, if you don't mind my asking (pure curiosity).


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## MarkR (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

A book specifically aimed at this issue is Is it True What They Say About Freemasonry by Art DeHoyos, S. Brent Morris, and James Tresner.  See if she'll read it. 
http://www.amazon.com/True-What-They-About-Freemasonry/dp/1590770307


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## coachn (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



fasttito said:


> Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?


I'd accept that it is _her problem _and let her know that you do accept that it is _her problem_.   I would not try to rescue her from _her problem_ in any way.  I'd also insist that she not make _her problem _my problem and encourage her to find viable solutions that won't interfere with the relationship that she has with me. 

You might want to investigate "The Drama Triangle".  She is making effort to pull you in.  The only way out is to accept that she won't agree with your FM involvement and be okay with this.  Until you establish and maintain a firm boundary with _her problem_, you shall have if interfere with your relationship with her.

Yes, this is a control issue and if you do not put it to rest soon, it shall become one of many, if not already so.


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## BryanMaloney (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

It sounds like a "conservative" church (that prides itself on rejecting "tradition", if Tuesday is a special night instead of Wednesday, the traditional Christian mid-week day of observation, if any is done). Generally, such groups like to pretend to espouse a "traditional" authority structure in marriage. Thus, the husband would have "headship". She knew you were a Mason when you married. If she married you to "fix" or "improve" you, you are neither a man nor a husband in her eyes. You would merely be a "project". State the issue plainly: You are the husband and the man. You will continue to do as you have done. She, according to Scripture, is to obey. If she tries to pull out "unevenly yoked" to throw at you, brook no argument. She knew about Masonry and you when she married you. If she married you with a mind to "change that later", then she married you under fraudulent pretense. I had a "wife" who considered me something to "improve". The more I conceded, the worse she got.


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## JamesMichael (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I will be married 20 Years to same woman, my best friend this year.  If she personally has issue I believe that you ought to be open to her concerns and express to her your understanding. Ask her to withhold judgment until after you and her both have been able to clearly communicate your position and questions and fears. She likely has some of all. Then agree to pray together about this asking God to confirm your steps as a husband and wife unit. You and she may really be surprised how He will confirm for you both. Agree to decide together as a couple, not on a pastor's, parents or any other persons opinion. It's your marriage. Make it work. Love wins. 

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## Brother_Steve (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I would speak to her and let her read: http://www.masonic-lodge-of-education.com/masonic-wife.html

and if possible get the book for her to read.

Lastly, the lodge members have wives she can speak to as well.

She should be willing to sacrifice just as much as she expects you to sacrifice. She needs to understand that you have just as much right to argue your point. You will be better armed and educated if you bring (I hate this cliche`) the right tools for the task ahead.

Edited: I'm not affiliated with the website nor do I endorse the book in any way. Not sure if I had to clarify that.


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## BroBook (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I would suggest talk to the pastor and Make him put his Bible were his mouth is,Tuesday ?


Bro Book


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## Browncoat (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



coachn said:


> I'd accept that it is _her problem _and let her know that you do accept that it is _her problem_.   I would not try to rescue her from _her problem_ in any way.  I'd also insist that she not make _her problem _my problem and encourage her to find viable solutions that won't interfere with the relationship that she has with me.
> 
> You might want to investigate "The Drama Triangle".  She is making effort to pull you in.  The only way out is to accept that she won't agree with your FM involvement and be okay with this.  Until you establish and maintain a firm boundary with _her problem_, you shall have if interfere with your relationship with her.
> 
> Yes, this is a control issue and if you do not put it to rest soon, it shall become one of many, if not already so.



100% agreed.

Obviously none of us here are qualified to offer advice to one man's marriage or the relationship he has with his wife. We all have our quirks and shortcomings, and our better halves are no different.

Sounds like wifey has some control issues with your "Guy Time".


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## JohnnyFlotsam (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

coachn's analysis is spot-on, IMO, as is his advice. Still, among the practical solutions you (both you and your SO) might consider are finding a lodge that meets on a different night, or finding a church that has services on a different night. Both of these solutions assume that you've managed to overcome the much broader issue you face, that of your wife's and your church's objections to Freemasonry. The sad fact is that you are unlikely to change things in your church, and quite possibly your wife's view will be intractable as well.
That said, a late PM who will always my deep respect once told me, "Family, work, Masonry, in that order." You must work this out somehow. That may involve tough choices all around, but sort it you must. 

I wish you the best of luck, Brother.


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## dfreybur (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Masonry teaches that me must never come between family and church.  We don't have any obvious lessons for what happens when family and church retroactively decide to come between us and Masonry.

I'll agree with several other posters.  To quote Bro Bryan "Masonry stiffens the back and softens the heart".  Stiffen the back as in knowing that retroactive equals unacceptable.  Soften the heart as in pitying the fact that the pastor has gone insane.

God grant me the strength to change what I can change (switch to a different church),
To accept the things that I can not change (addressed to a woman who knew you to be a brother),
And the wisdom to tell the difference (whence my comments in parens)


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## JJones (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I agree with Coach on this.  If she has issues with your being a mason, it's her issue, don't let it become an issue for you as well.  Many wives have men that they cant even account for several nights out of the week, at least she knows where you are and that you're staying out of trouble (hopefully!).


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## Bro Darren (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

A pastors influence is very strong and its sad when these pastors focus on teaching the mythes and conspiracies of the fraternity. I encourage you brother not to let this weaken your resolve and force you lose your way. Stay strong, but with a compassionate heart to your wife and reassure her that Freemasonry is not about the evil that the misinformed preach but about brotherly love and compassion for the fellow man and the community. 

As mentioned by others I would offer her some educational books and ask that she give you the time and courtesy to take in what Freemasonry is rather than what it is not!


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## nixxon2000 (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I agree with the general consensus. She knew who you were before you got married and she was able to accept that then. If her feelings have changed that is something you both need to discuss and pray on. 

My advise were I in the same situation would be to find a new more tolerant church. If she were willing to do that. However from my experience with women like that once they start to try and change you things get worse. 

They either learn that they can control you and push more or learn you won't change and make life more difficult. 

My wife and I make a great team because we work together and communicate. 


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## K3vin (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I don't believe that this is a control issue. I believe it is based in fear. She has a honest fear for his spiritual life based on incorrect information. Natural human response to the unknown is fear. The tool to eliminate ignorance is education. As a couple they need to work together to defeat her fear. 


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## fasttito (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Pentacostal Church in Orlando Fl


2B1IS2ASK1
/G\You Are Never Alone/G\
Stay Thirsty My Brothers


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## KSigMason (Jan 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

If she is interested, here is a good book: http://www.amazon.com/Freemasons-Wife-Philippa-Faulks/dp/0853183139


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## Companion Joe (Jan 24, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I would never presume to tell someone how to handle their household affairs, but ... let's take Masonry out of the picture and insert playing softball, fishing/hunting, racing, any particular vocation or avocation, etc. ... if she knew this going in and now has a problem with it, there is a deeper rooted problem than you going to a lodge meeting.

As for your church, I'll put two and two together and go ahead and say ... that in my neck of the woods .. any church that holds services on Tuesday night is likely to have the kind of preacher who would denounce Freemasonry. Sorry to hear it.


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## Ahmed (Jan 25, 2014)

*Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wants*

I totally agree with defreybur.
Change the church.

As for me if I were one I would not tell any one about it because it's self building to me , as men we know how to deal with women , good luck will pray for you. 


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## jj72438 (Jan 25, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I was raised in a pentacostal church and I can tell you she will not change or change churches.  They are set in their ways and if you don't believe like they do in their words you aware going to hell.  God luck brother 

Randy Imler
SW monette lodge 558
Monette Arkansas


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## jj72438 (Jan 25, 2014)

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I knew what church when you said Tuesday because that is their midweek service, why I have never figured out.  


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## Companion Joe (Jan 25, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

This is not a disparagement of anyone's church, but just a way to shed some light on churches in MY area:

Around here, you won't generally hear anything negative from established Presbyterian, Methodist, or Baptist churches that have met under the same stained glass and steeple for the last 150 years - (my own church was standing long before the Civil War and withstood a bombardment of downtown during one of the local battles) - you know, the types of churches were the preacher has the title Rev. Dr. So-and-So, many of whom are Masons themselves.

The churches/preachers/churchgoers that have negative comments are usually ones that meet in abandoned convenience stores, some little building that was shackled together out in a field somewhere, a mobile home purchased and turned into a church, etc. They usually have some kind of hand-painted sign that says "Full Gospel" or "Tabernacle of the Redeemer" or "God's Church" or something. The preachers are only "ordained ministers" by the congregation of that particular church, and many times they are just selected "OK, Bill, you can preach this month; then it's Bob's turn." We laughingly refer to these as BYOS - bring your own snakes.

There is a guy who lives just out the road from my folks and myself, and he is one of these self-style "preachers." He has lived there most of my life and has known my family longer than I have been alive. One day my dad and I were working out in the yard, and he stopped by to chat. I don't know what even got it started, but the conversation turned toward him talking about "them ole Masons." My dad and I just looked at each other smiled. We let him say his peace. Then my dad asked him, "how long have you known us?" 
"Forever."
"And you say the Masons are up to something bad?"
"Oh yeah. ... (I don't remember what all he said here)"
"You realize you are talking to two of them, and you know we don't do any of those things."
"Oh, oh, oh, but I don't mean you regular Masons. Y'all's good people. It's just them higher ups that's the bad ones."
"Well, in one aspect of it, Joe here is the highest ranking one in this part of the state." (I just shook my head and smiled)
"Uhhhhh, well, I gotta go."


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## jwhoff (Jan 25, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Must agree with Coachn' on this one brother.  It doesn't appear to be a masonic problem at all.

Relationships grow in direct proportion to the individuals there involved.  And, there's never room for more than two.  Pastors, mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, siblings,_ et al _are outsiders.  Drama guised as control and jealousy either fade or destroy in the end.  Those first few years of marriage are a feeling out process.  We must all traverse them.

May the GAOTU bless and keep you and yours.


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## rpbrown (Jan 26, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I want to give a little background on my church first. We are non-denominational. We have a senior pastor who was a Demolay in his youth and 2 associate pastors. We have a board of directors (4 of 5 are Masons) that include those 3 as well. We also have 29 members who are Masons including one of the associate pastors and the senior pastor's son.
With that said, the associate pastor started doing the old internet search about Masonry and got all of "those sites". You know the ones, that say we are devil worshipers and such. He immediately went to the senior pastor about it who denounced his fears and tried to explain to him that was all not true. The associate did not take his advice and started explaining to the members that were Masons (including myself) what he had found on the internet. Of course each of us told him it was all untrue. However, not being able to change any of our minds, he started going to our wives with this hogwash. Now, some of the wives (especially those of new Masons) became alarmed and started pressuring their husbands to drop Masonry because of it. This created a big turmoil within the church.
I have said all of this to point out that 1 man can sway a large group if given the opportunity. Now my prayers are with you brother. As others above have said, it should be family first before Masonry and you took a vow to God when you got married. Tough situation to be in for sure.


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## rmcgehee (Jan 26, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I just know that if my wife told me "Masonry or me" I would go with Masonry.
You have to make a decision.


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## Blake Bowden (Jan 27, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



fasttito said:


> Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?
> 
> Thank you
> 
> ...



I wouldn't give up being a Freemason for any organized religion. That being said, if I had the choice of attending Church or Lodge I would go with Church, but only if they accepted the fact that I was a Freemason. 

I would suggest that you discuss rotating weeks with your Wife. For example one week you attend a meeting another you attend Church. It's all about compromise. In the meantime, educate her about Freemasonry and be prepared to answer any questions she may have.


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## fasttito (Jan 27, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Thanks to all my brothers for advice.


2B1IS2ASK1
/G\You Are Never Alone/G\
Stay Thirsty My Brothers


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## rfuller (Jan 27, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



Blake Bowden said:


> I wouldn't give up being a Freemason for any organized religion. That being said, if I had the choice of attending Church or Lodge I would go with Church, but only if they accepted the fact that I was a Freemason.
> 
> I would suggest that you discuss rotating weeks with your Wife. For example one week you attend a meeting another you attend Church. It's all about compromise. In the meantime, educate her about Freemasonry and be prepared to answer any questions she may have.



I'm going to agree with Blake here.  I feel like some of the other comments are emphasizing the fight, and not looking for a solution.  The fraternity is very clear about what our priorities should be, and Freemasonry isn't at the top of that list.  I would work on calming your wife's mind about Freemasonry before addressing the pastor.  I'm not sure what your lodge's meeting structure looks like.  At mine, our business meeting is once, on the third tuesday of every month, and our floor practice meets every week on Mondays.  If I were in your shoes, I'd drop the floor practice, but remain active at the business meetings.  If things never change, and you absolutely feel called to be a part of the degree team, or hold an office, perhaps you should consider finding another lodge that coincides with your church schedule.  There are lots of ways you can find a reasonable compromise.  The brothers at my lodge have these kinds of things happen all the time.  Recently we had to vote to move our floor practice day because so many were in your shoes.  

You shouldn't put your marriage at risk for Freemasonry.  You may have to find another lodge, but it's not worth severing the sacred bonds of matrimony to stay at the same lodge on a tuesday.  

Also, I would gently suggest finding another church, as one brother to another, but it certainly isn't MY place to advise you on YOUR faith.  Just my perspective, certainly not something I would want you to fight with your wife over because some anonymous person on the internet told you to.

I wish you luck, and I encourage you to find a solution with your wife, rather than cornering up and being stubborn.


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## dfreybur (Jan 27, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



rfuller said:


> You shouldn't put your marriage at risk for Freemasonry.



Yet that is exactly what his wife did.  Sad how that works.



> You may have to find another lodge, but it's not worth severing the sacred bonds of matrimony to stay at the same lodge on a tuesday.



If it were only about Tuesday I would recommend affiliating with a different lodge.  A friend who was elected a deacon in his church switched from our Monday lodge to a Wednesday lodge and he's since a Past Master in his Wednesday lodge.  But this example is not only about Tuesday.


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## BryanMaloney (Jan 28, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



dfreybur said:


> Yet that is exactly what his wife did.  Sad how that works.



It has been my experience that wives hold their husbands to higher standards than the wives, themselves, live by.


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## LastKingSha174 (Feb 16, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

I have this book! Excellent book!


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## brother josh (Feb 18, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



LastKingSha174 said:


> I have this book! Excellent book!



What book???


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## flttrainer (Feb 18, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Brother, I really hope a solution finds its way to your problem.  My church has a Tuesday evening bible study and my lodge meets Tuesdays for fellowship/practice.  Fortunately, my lodge also meets Sunday evenings for fellowship/practice.  Our solution is that I attend lodge Sundays and she goes to bible study on Tuesdays (we have a young daughter).  If we have a degree on a Tuesday, she either stays home or we get a babysitter.  Compromise is a must in a marriage.  But, compromise is a two-way street.  

Freemasonry vs marriage is tough.  I am blessed to have a wife who understands that I fellowship with my brothers at lodge.  She fellowships with the women at bible study.  That way each of us has our needs met without sacrificing each others needs.  Prayers to you Brother.


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## RedTemplar (Feb 19, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Please forgive me if I am mistaken. but if you have an extra minute or a spare dime, the preacher thinks it belongs to him.


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## brother josh (Feb 19, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



LastKingSha174 said:


> I have this book! Excellent book!



What book???


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## Brother JC (Feb 19, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Comment #5 of this thread...


MarkR said:


> A book specifically aimed at this issue is Is it True What They Say About Freemasonry by Art DeHoyos, S. Brent Morris, and James Tresner.  See if she'll read it.
> http://www.amazon.com/True-What-They-About-Freemasonry/dp/1590770307


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## LastKingSha174 (Feb 19, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



brother josh said:


> What book???Sent From My Freemasonry Pro App


  Yes Brother Josh, Brother TrySquare is correct. I am referring to the  book by Arturo De Hoyos Is It True What They Say About Freemasonry.  Sorry about that. I should have specified.


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## fasttito (Feb 20, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

Sorry been dark for little while. Things are better, my church moved their Tuesday nights to Wednesday. 
It's funny how that worked out...
Thanks to all my brothers for the advice..


2B1IS2ASK1
/G\You Are Never Alone/G\
Stay Thirsty My Brothers


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## fasttito (Feb 20, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

If any my brothers are passing through Orlando, Florida my lodge (Eola 207) meets every first Tuesday and every third Tuesday. 
Eola Lodge 207
3200 East Grant Street
Orlando, fl 32856
407-898-3200
Orlandofreemans@gmail.com
Fellowship 6:30 pm
State Communication 7:30 pm


2B1IS2ASK1
/G\You Are Never Alone/G\
Stay Thirsty My Brothers


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## brother josh (Feb 23, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



LastKingSha174 said:


> Yes Brother Josh, Brother TrySquare is correct. I am referring to the  book by Arturo De Hoyos Is It True What They Say About Freemasonry.  Sorry about that. I should have specified.



No problem bro thanks for explaining 


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## rebis (Apr 3, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

My wife had issues also. I took her to a few O.E.S public events including their installation of officers. She really liked the atmosphere and the sisters there and asked for a petition. It has brought us closer together and the negativity towards me going to lodge completely ceased. The chapter meets twice a month and since there are two additional chapters in the county, she now goes to lodge every week! ...while I stay home to feed and put to bed all five of our children.  I now find myself bitchin' at her for being at lodge too often.

Best of luck brother.


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## tpoitevent (May 5, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*

My wife has no problem with it, i guess i am lucky.  I want to go to church more but i have difficulties sometimes.  You see, march of 2013 my wife went into premature labor with our twin girls and one live 20 hours and the other lived a month.  We cannot have children naturally.  So my wife and i have difficulties with our own religion.  I still believe and will never stop believing.  I have a hard time of going to church because what people say with the best of intent still hurts because you wonder why this was apart of the "master plan".  She loves the fact that i love the brotherly love of the lodge because it makes me feel like people are really there for me.  Not just there to tell me what the bible says but there to tell me they are there for me and they mean it. 

I guess i got off on a rant but i am saying that i don't have the problem others have because i have been the one trying to get my wife to go to church but it hurts me to go as well.  Sadly enough OES in my area is almost dead.  My wife enjoys going to charity events with me especially when we put together the dental kits for kids and she comes to officers installations.  

My point is, i have shared with my wife in very specific details what Freemasonry does for me and how it helps me, without divulging any of our mysteries and secrets.  Maybe you should tell her what it truly means to you.


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## dfreybur (May 5, 2014)

*Re: Wife having a problem with Freemasonry, she wa*



tpoitevent said:


> So my wife and i have difficulties with our own religion.



My commiseration with your loss.

What you describe in problems with your church not problems with your religion.  It's an important difference.  There's always another church down the road that is less likely to exhibit the problem.  In your case I'd be dubious but at least in theory there should be a church that does not exhibit that behavior.


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## CajunTinMan (May 12, 2014)

For me it's always been God, family,… then Masonry.  I'm lucky also because my wife has never had a problem with it.  But we do encounter this with other members from time to time. It's the same old rhetoric that's been around for 300 years that just gets a facelift and pushed around some more.  It was debunked when it first came out and it still has to be debunked today.   Most pastors mean well and are looking out for the souls of their parishioners. They just don't know truth from fiction. Then there are the others that make their name off of being anti-masonry.  Although you probably won't change the pastors mind. It's possible, but unlikely.  You could try taking your wife's objections individually and help her to learn the truth of each one as far as what you can tell her. Like I said before, nearly every lie put out about Masonry has already been to debunked so you shouldn't have a problem finding information that you need.


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## Warrior1256 (May 14, 2014)

I can only speak for myself and what I would do in your place. For example, I have a modest firearm collection and I know that firearm ownership is a hot topic issue. If I dated a woman for a long period of time and she never expressed any opposition to me owning firearms until after we were married my reply would be "You'll go out that door before a single one of these guns do." In other words if my lady expressed no concerns with something I was doing until after we were married then I would deduce that she married me thinking that afterwards she would chip off the rough edges and turn me into exactly what she wanted and I would not go along with that. Just my opinion.


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## clydle (May 15, 2014)

Not knowing you or your wife I can only comment based on my own experience.  Here goes...from my first interview in this journey it was made clear god, family, and job came first.  That's one of the reasons I decided to join.  Your brothers certainly understand this.   My responsibility to my wife trumps the lodge every time in every case.  I'm a mason, I put the needs of others before my own.  
She's my wife.  She loves me.  She wants me to be happy.  I'm the husband.  I'm the breadwinner.  I'm the head of my household.  If I've satisfied myself my duties to home and family are satisfied I do a little something for myself.  I don't ask the wife if I can go to lodge meetings once a month.  I tell her when I'll be home and I'm not late.
If lodge night were church night I'd miss church once a month.  If the wife thought the lodge was evil i'd remind her she surely wouldn't marry an evil man and end the discussion there.
What's important to me here is I have satisfied my duties to her, house, and home before I consider going to lodge.


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## Willys (May 19, 2014)

fasttito said:


> Before I met my wife I was a Freemason, now after 3 years together, 2 years married she has a problem with me going to meetings she rather have me go to church with her. Church and S.C. are on the same night (Tuesday). She told my Pastor I'm a Freemason he flipped out and is100% against it. She wants me to give up being a Mason but I'm a Mason for life in my heart.. What should I do?
> 
> Thank you
> 
> ...




Seems the place to start is getting the Pastor square with the idea that it is you to whom your wife is married, then getting the wife on the same square.  Then proceed with caution and information.


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