# funny freemason rumors



## Brother Mark (Jun 21, 2012)

Ok so since I have become a master mason, I have heard some really funny rumors about our organization. One of my favorites is that we are planning on taking over the world, and that we drink goats blood. My question is what is the funniest rumor yall have heard?


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## chrmc (Jun 21, 2012)

This book from Dan Brown is full of them Amazon.com: The Lost Symbol (9780307950680): Dan Brown: Books


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## Captain Rose (Jun 22, 2012)

When I was going through people kept telling me masons worshiped satan, sacrificed animals and sodomized their initiates. Crazy rumors! And the Lost Symbol is a fantastic book, the movie should be very interesting for us masons.


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## tomasball (Jun 22, 2012)

We entirely plan to rule the world.  Right after we figure out how to rule the 800 or so lodges in the Grand Lodge of Texas.


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## Michaelstedman81 (Jun 23, 2012)

tomasball said:


> We entirely plan to rule the world.  Right after we figure out how to rule the 800 or so lodges in the Grand Lodge of Texas.



Bwahahahha!


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## Brother Mark (Jun 23, 2012)

tomasball said:


> We entirely plan to rule the world.  Right after we figure out how to rule the 800 or so lodges in the Grand Lodge of Texas.


.


I love this one......


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## Bill Lins (Jun 23, 2012)

tomasball said:


> Right after we figure out how to rule the 800 or so lodges in the Grand Lodge of Texas.


 
And that'll happen just as soon as we can agree on what to have for supper. :wink:


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## Jimmy Shields (Jun 23, 2012)

I do enjoy a good rumor lol. Has anyone heard if they r making a lost symbol movie? I read the book and would love to see a movie


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## bupton52 (Jun 24, 2012)

I just recently had someone tell me that we are planning on taking over the world also. When I responded that she was incorrect, i got hit with the you are not high enough yet. It was secret society this and secret society that. I told her that if we are a secret society, we are doing a terrible job at keeping the secret because everybody knows about us.


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## California Master (Jun 24, 2012)

Captain Rose said:


> When I was going through people kept telling me masons worshiped satan, sacrificed animals and sodomized their initiates. Crazy rumors! And the Lost Symbol is a fantastic book, the movie should be very interesting for us masons.



I've never sacraficed an animal.......well maybe an armadillo just once. >


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## Bill Lins (Jun 24, 2012)

California Master said:


> I've never sacraficed an animal.......well maybe an armadillo just once. >


 
Try grillin' 'em with lemon pepper- PDG!


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## Blake Bowden (Jun 24, 2012)

Supposedly the Lost Symbol is coming, however I heard Ron Howard won't be directing it and chances are Tom Hanks won't be in it. As far as rumors, just the typical ignorant statements. I do have one good story-my Sister, whom I've very close to was against me joining Freemasonry from the start. The other day she visited and I told her "After it was all said and done, after I was a Master Mason, this is what the Lodge gave me" and I went into the living room, grabbed the Holy Bible and sat it in her lap. I did ride a fine line as I told her that "It was to be my rule and guide to life". 

Since then, she has a different viewpoint of the Craft. Rumors can be beneficial or detrimental. I've lost count on how many prospective candidates told me they wanted to join Freemasonry to be part of something secret. UGH. Freemasonry isn't a secret, I would even include our ceremonies. In my opinion, the real secret/mystery is how you utilize the working tools and lessons to make yourself a better individual.


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## masonicknight (Jun 25, 2012)

Worked with a guy who felt it was his duty to ask me everyday how the Illuminati (insert any other secret society at will) was doing in its grab for power. Since he received most of his information from radio talk shows, which always told the truth according to him, it was hard to deal with. At one point I told him to ask any question he wanted about the Order and I would freely answer him. He refused because he knew all he needed to know about it, and he wasn't planning on joining that was secret. Yet every morning we went through the sequence again and again.


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## Brother Mark (Jun 27, 2012)

I heard one today that the freemasonry were at war with the illuminati. I laughed pretty hard on that ome


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## jwhoff (Jun 27, 2012)

Hope it ends up being a short war.  I'm pretty much drained with all the occupations and nation building of late.


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## Michaelstedman81 (Jun 28, 2012)

jwhoff said:


> Hope it ends up being a short war.  I'm pretty much drained with all the occupations and nation building of late.



Bwahahah!  Does tend to be tiring, doesn't it??...lol


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## K.S. (Jun 28, 2012)

Add Content


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## K.S. (Jun 28, 2012)

I love it when people tell me that the masons are planning on overthrowing the government and taking over the nation-then the world, I act completely enthralled! And tell them "Well, if so, that means I'll be helping to run the show and not in the prison camp, doesn't look like such a bad decision joining anymore does it?" (I can't help but play along with the conspiracies, it's fun!) haha!


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## cemab4y (Jun 28, 2012)

I once met a woman who told me that the Shriners set up the crippled children's hospitals, so that the Shriners could have access to the children for sexual abuse.


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## jwhoff (Jun 29, 2012)

Well ... I guess everyone didn't have a chance to coach in the Nittany Valley.


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## Ashlar (Jun 30, 2012)

My brother is an on-again/off-again conspiracy theorist . Right after he watched the movie National Treasure he called me and asked if I knew about the treasure . Which I laughed and answered "No , it is only a plot device in a movie." . He still doesn't believe me  .


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## Michael Hatley (Jun 30, 2012)

They all make me laugh, except the Shriner one.  Man, people can be so ugly.  It speaks volumes about people when they trust that sort of thing more than their own eyes.


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## SeeKer.mm (Jun 30, 2012)

I got to eat the goat with a nice curry sauce when I was done with him... :beer2:


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## Benton (Jun 30, 2012)

Ashlar said:


> My brother is an on-again/off-again conspiracy theorist . Right after he watched the movie National Treasure he called me and asked if I knew about the treasure . Which I laughed and answered "No , it is only a plot device in a movie." . He still doesn't believe me  .


 

When I was student teaching in college, one of my cooperating teachers saw my ring and asked me if there was a National Treasure or something like it. I just laughed and said, "If there was, do you think I'd be here doing this?"


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## Eric Edwards (Jul 9, 2012)

I heard that when your initiated you have to kiss the backside of baphomet which is a bloody goat head... and if you walk around the backside you end up not having to kiss it's rear...
there will be a woman who will orally satisfy you. 

I went and got a petition right away....JUST KIDDING.


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## SeeKer.mm (Jul 9, 2012)

Eric Edwards said:


> I went and got a petition right away....JUST KIDDING.



Ha hahahahahaha.........HA


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## Spring TX MM (Jul 18, 2012)

Most of these are funny as heck. I was instructing one of the best EAs I've ever taught.  He asked me what to say when people question him about Freemasonry. I told him the usual and said if he ever didn't know what to say, to just call me. He called me one evening from a social gathering with friends and asked how to respond since he had been asked if we burn crosses and wear white sheets. I told him to say yes and to add that we dance naked under the moon, continuously take over the world and not forgetting, eat babies for breakfast. He laughed a little and agreed to say what I told him. The next time we met for instruction, he said it was the perfect thing to say. They all laughed and realized how silly their questions were. 

S&F
Kyle
Spring Lodge #1174


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## lbrown2 (Jul 18, 2012)

The rumors I've heard was that we're devil worshippers, and during the EA initiation, the candidates have to be completely naked and sleep in a casket. If you're in the Scottish Rite and you obtain the 33rd degree, you have to drink blood from a skull. And that freemasonry is a religion and we're of course a part of the Illuminati!


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## knightnblue (Jul 19, 2012)

tomasball said:
			
		

> We entirely plan to rule the world.  Right after we figure out how to rule the 800 or so lodges in the Grand Lodge of Texas.



Hahahahaha!!!  Good one!

Rick Flores MM Eagle Pass #626


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## knightnblue (Jul 19, 2012)

SeeKer.mm said:
			
		

> I got to eat the goat with a nice curry sauce when I was done with him... :beer2:



I prefer the goat cooked on a spit with lemon-pepper 

Rick Flores MM Eagle Pass #626


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## Plustax (Jul 20, 2012)

Our Lodge is next door to a Vet clinic which ALWAYS has goats outside in the pen area. Some of us usually ask the new candidate if he hasn't picked out a goat yet to go outside & choose one real quick before we get started! LOL Hey.... It's almost a rite of passage!  
Kinda like going from Polywog to Shellback! Ha My dad went thru that on his way to Makin Islands during WWII & he wasn't even a squid!


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## martin (Sep 13, 2012)

take over the world, and i say oh yes we trying to do that for the last 400 years  we r almost there


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## JTM (Sep 17, 2012)

we're all porch masons, in that we haven't been let in on the real secrets, yet!


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## phulseapple (Sep 17, 2012)

Pretty much anything by A.Ralph Epperson and Jim Marrs have been the funniest I have heard.  Outdone only by the one and only David Icke who thinks we are Reptilian shape shifters.  I have also been inundated with claims that we are strictly an evil Jewish cult responsible for the 9/11 attacks...


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## jwhoff (Sep 20, 2012)

I say give 'em sumptin to shoot at

!:52::52:


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## Brent Heilman (Sep 20, 2012)

martin said:


> take over the world, and i say oh yes we trying to do that for the last 400 years  we r almost there


 
The reason it is taking so long is we want to make sure it is done right and as quitely as possible.


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## JustinScott (Sep 21, 2012)

Masons drink goats blood and eat people right?  I mean that's why I wanted to join.


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## Brent Heilman (Sep 21, 2012)

JustinScott said:


> Masons drink goats blood and eat people right?  I mean that's why I wanted to join.



Not so much people in general. It is mostly babies. Also, don't forget the occasional sacrifice to our god.


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## martin (Sep 21, 2012)

Oh ya I was driving to down town Toronto , in the hwy 404 with couple masons friends and of course I have a mason sticker in the back of my car , so a car pass  me and as they passing me I saw a bunch on nuns in the other car and they look at us and made the sign of the cross


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## Virgin Islands Brother (Sep 22, 2012)

A brother told me a coworker was interested in joining. He went through the usual steps to bring in an initiate then tried to inform him. He then noticed that the guy was avoiding him. Two weeks of this and he finally cornered the guy. He asked him what's wrong. The guy tells him he can't do it again. No disrespect but he's heterosexual. Needless to say the brother was floored.


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## Tony Uzzell (Sep 22, 2012)

martin said:


> Oh ya I was driving to down town Toronto , in the hwy 404 with couple masons friends and of course I have a mason sticker in the back of my car , so a car pass  me and as they passing me I saw a bunch on nuns in the other car and they look at us and made the sign of the cross


 
This post really cracked me up.

My Dad was a Mason, too, and I'll never forget when a school friend of mine (we were 13 and I had just joined DeMolay) told me that his preacher had told him that all Masons were Satan worshippers. I remember just looking at him like he'd just grown a second head and going "Is your preacher a total moron?"

I was precocious as a youth. Now, I'm a downright smart-ass.

TU


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## jwhoff (Sep 22, 2012)

Bill_Lins77488 said:


> And that'll happen just as soon as we can agree on what to have for supper. :wink:


 

Well ... goat's blood of course!

:40:


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## martin (Sep 23, 2012)

My wife: is true u guys r like the mob.                      Me: who say that                                                     My wife: my mother told me , she say u guys do       bad things to people.                                           Me: we'll we bring some stripers and drink and smoke , we talk about how much drugs we gonna put in the market and who's next to die in our list 1's we agree them we do it and that's it we didn't create the crime we just organize it


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## JustinScott (Sep 23, 2012)

Brent Heilman said:


> JustinScott said:
> 
> 
> > Masons drink goats blood and eat people right?  I mean that's why I wanted to join.
> ...



You mean gods right? Or should we say demons?


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## JustinScott (Sep 23, 2012)

jwhoff said:


> Bill_Lins77488 said:
> 
> 
> > And that'll happen just as soon as we can agree on what to have for supper. :wink:
> ...




Don't forget the babies!


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## Brent Heilman (Sep 24, 2012)

JustinScott said:


> You mean gods right? Or should we say demons?


 

gods or demons either way they are the same to us, right?


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## JustinScott (Sep 24, 2012)

Brent Heilman said:


> JustinScott said:
> 
> 
> > You mean gods right? Or should we say demons?
> ...




Yes, yes indeed they manipulate from with in to take over the world and create anarky thus is why Freemasons helped create the most democratic republic  government of all time.


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