# Redneck Security System



## RJS

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's
used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy
of Guns &Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and
magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,

Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.
Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up
real bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard
to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four
of 'em in the house. Better wait outside...........

Cooter


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## Bro Mike

Nice!

When I was a kid we had a neighbor who was a nervous old lady.  But she had trained her little dainty Maltese dog, Fluffy to growl like a pit bull if she ever called her "Killer".

If she was worried that someone was in the yard or messing with her car, we would hear "Get 'em Killer!"  And this ball of snarling white fur would stand by her side and growl and bark to chase away the bad guys.  

It must have worked.  My parents didn't have a crime problem back then.  

Or maybe to burglars all just ran off laughing.


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## rhitland

I would never mess with anyone named Cooter much less with pit bulls


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## JTM

this works for a pretty good security system as well.  if a redneck goes through the trouble to set up his trailer park like this, you can be damned sure breaking in is going to kill you.


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## owls84

I love it!!! That is great.


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## Bill Lins

rhitland said:


> I would never mess with anyone named Cooter much less with pit bulls



Glad to hear it- he's actually a pretty good ole' boy & a member of Matagorda Lodge #7!


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## Blake Bowden

JTM said:


> this works for a pretty good security system as well.  if a redneck goes through the trouble to set up his trailer park like this, you can be damned sure breaking in is going to kill you.





HAHAH WOW! You might be a redneck if.....


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## Bill Lins

And a pretty fair welder, too!  ;-)


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