Social anxiety

[brother josh]

I was wondering if any brother has this if so how have u over came the issue I have it and am having a slight hrs time with it I stomach threw but it get difficult at time any advice words of wisdom would help also I go to SW in about 4 weeks the help is well welcomed thanx brothers


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[crono782]

social anxiety in what kind of situation? like speaking in public or just being the center of attention or what?

 

[brother josh]

Speaking in public and being the center if attention


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[Brother_Steve]

Speaking in public and being the center if attention


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Not wanting to be the center of attention might be a good thing for you in Masonry. Turn it into feelings being humble and respectful.

As far as the public speaking goes, everyone is nervous. Even the best speaker in the world is nervous. It is what you do with the nerves is what you have to work on.

You know the parts. You're a year out from WM. You would not be sitting in the west if others did not think you could do it.

 

[cacarter]

Deep breath and focus on just the person that you are talking to, is the only advice I can proffer. Good luck brother.

 

[crono782]

as far as the public speaking, you being the SW, mostly you're not addressing the entire lodge though you'll certainly want to get comfy doing that for the year after! like cacarter said, focus on who you are speaking to like a conversation, the rest of the lodge is merely accessory. deep breaths, speak clearly and slowly if need be. gather your thoughts and make sure your mind and mouth are going at the same pace (it's easy for your words to get ahead of your thoughts). nobody counts off for speed, hah.

for the center of attention aspect, remember that the lodge members are your brothers and WANT to see you succeed and do well. they aren't grading you, but encouraging you. think of it like saying grace at the family dinner table. it's solemn and serious, but casual at the same time. speak like you are speaking to your peers rather than to strangers.

 

[dfreybur]

Speaking in public and being the center if attention

Practice in public speaking is one item on the long list of reasons I petitioned and volunteered to go through the line immediately after I was raised. Everything I have read about public speaking is that literally everyone is nervous about it when they start but that it gets easier with extensive practice. We could join Toastmasters and get more practice - In Masonry it's just one of the many ways we make good men better not our primary focus.

As to being the center of attention it's also a situation of practice making the load lighter. Each year as you progress through the line the load gets heavier and the amount added greater. It's a steady program of increased responsibility and authority both in ritual and in the business of the lodge. The butterflies were very obvious to me the first time I wore that hat and the first time in each degree, but the brothers congratulated me on a job well done and as I practiced I got more competent and the butterflies reduced.

 

[Bro Darren]

Here's a little tip-bit or my 2 cents worth.
1) No one expects you to be perfect, nor should you be
2) The more proficiency you have in the topic of discussion, the more confidence you will have when discussing it
3) We are all Brothers, we all face the same challenges together

I enjoy the rush of emotions that comes with speaking in public as it gives me something to keep me on my toes.
My social struggle is being in or around large groups of people at Sporting events, Shopping Malls & bar's as I had one incident where I was playing pool/snooker/billiards. I was lining up a shot on the table and then next thing I knew I woke up in hospital because some random guy, off his rocker on drugs, king hit me for no reason whatsoever.
Since that night, large groups of random people scare the bejeebers out of me and I spend the whole time with this heightened sense of awareness thing going on.

 

[brother josh]

Brothers I want to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart I will save all these comments and when I feel as if I can't do it I shall look back on this and remember that this is what it's all about brothers that have no blood relation to me are willing to pour out there minds and hearts to help aid a brother who is in need of good council this is why I love this brotherhood may that divine providence bless you all I take your words and keep then store in the repository of my faithful breast

God bless


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[cemab4y]

Different people deal with these situations differently. I strongly encourage you to check out the "Toastmasters". It is an organization which assists people with public speaking, and "stage fright". There is even a chapter here in Afghanistan.

(BTW- I was born in Louisville, KY)

 

[Bro.Joseph.Rossi.Pa.Mason]

Keep your mind and body strong at all times. The gym, nutrition , knowledge. Develop strong inter confidence in everything you do in life. Walk tall , head held high and proud and strong. Act as if you can achieve anything. Speak with authority. You are a Brother, part of a wonderful brotherhood be proud. Good luck , these are just my positive thoughts this morning, take care !!

 

[jwhoff]

Physically:

Take deep breaths, hold them, release them slowly.

Turn your hands upward, touch the fingertips and feel the tension flow upward.

During quiet times learn you part WELL. Go over it and over it. Now relax. Loosen your body and just "say it." Don't recite it! Just "say it."

NOTE: there are times when mistakes build upon each other. One brother makes a mistake in the opening or closing, then everyone falls in line and by the time the segment is finished it becomes a perfect storm. How to avoid this: concentrate on your queue and your lines. Know your lines, say your lines and let the flow move on.

Remember you are, or should be, among friends who have either gone through the same issues or expect to before long. They are forgiving. You should be forgiving as well. Enjoy and let the spirit of masonry abide within you.


I'd love to have the opportunity to hear your esoteric work. I know you will do well.

 

[Bro. Stewart P.M.]

We have all dealt with very similar issues at one time or another.

For me, it was as simple of focusing on one person and not the whole group. When I am working in or conferring a degree, I focus solely on the person that I am talking to. During stated meetings it is much the same.

Practice makes perfect in most cases. The more that you speak publicly the better off you should be and the easier it should get.

 

[brother josh]

Brothers I again thank you as of tonight I was elected as SW again I shall keep the wisdom that has shown threw from brother to brother and IAM looking into toast masters as another outlet for confidence with public speaking again thank you all GOD BLESS THIS BROTHERHOOD
May the blind foot step of the past serve as a guide and teacher for the future


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[Bro Darren]

Awesome news on your appointment as SW Brother Josh - May the GAOTU bless you with confidence, strength & wisdom in your journey to conquer your fears

 

[Blake Bowden]

I was never comfortable with public speaking, but then I became involved in theater and well that took care of 99.9% of it. When it came time for my tenure in the East, I was nervous but when I thought about all the hard work it took me to get there, it gave me confidence. I don't care how well you know the ritual, you will stumble, we all do but just know there are Brethren around you who will pick you right back up!

 

[Benjamin Baxter]

I know that if anything has helped me with public speaking, it has been freemasonry. When I turned in my ea or held a meeting at work I would speak so fast(trying to get it over with quickly) that I would not breath right. Then I would almost pass out. I would get so worked up before hand that it was near impossible to perform in any other way. By coming through the degrees, becoming a officer at my lodge, and serving on numerous committees I have improved my anxiety to we're these types of public speaking have become almost enjoyable. I wouldn't have predicted it, two years ago.....

 

[jwhoff]

Congratulations brother! Think of the result of the vote just taken.

We don't give up on each other.

Go, face and conquer your fears, make that step with the confidence that your fellow masons are in lock step behind you.

You can't miss.

Be sure to come back after your year in the EAST and share your findings. Remember, it will be your duty to the brotherhood to give support for those who will follow.

May the GAOTU bless and keep you and the brethren of your lodge.