I obviously haven't read all of the posts but I do know that the old saying 'one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch' is very true. As a matter of fact, I'm in a similar situation. I was looking to join a lodge that is just around the corner from my house. Literally could throw a baseball and hit the building from my porch. Perfect location. However, while recently visiting, I met a 'brother' who is in the line, SD if I'm not mistaken, but not for sure. Very confident individual, which is good but I noticed after the meeting, he had a beer or two and was all of the sudden being, to put it nicely, an asshole to some of the other members. Joking is one thing but talking to elderly members in a condescending and smart alecky manner is uncalled for. It really put me off. So much so that I could see him being a problem down the road. I had never met the guy and he was even doing some mild 'ball busting' towards me. Seemed to have some confidence issues maybe, Napoléon type thing. I don't know. His spouse was there and he was sort of 'showing off' in front of her.
Two days later, my wife and I were a local brew house and I saw this same person, pretty sauced looking, and I went over to shake his hand and he shook mine but he said something sort of off the cuff like, 'well I see you're just showing up everywhere in (city), huh?' and then pretty much walked off. Very arrogant I felt. Nothing too bad, but the guy has poor tact and I would imagine he is a pain at officer meetings and argumentative. I'm willing to see if it was just a misunderstanding.
Where I'm from, people are warm and cordial towards others they just met and not crass and rude. I was put off to say the least. I'm sure the other guys are use to it and "it's just 'Johnny' being 'Johnny' and he doesn't mean anything by it...'" but that doesn't mean it's ok necessarily. People don't get a pass to be a jerk. Same for people that 'just tell it like it is' or straight shooters. That's not necessarily a virtue either. It's bad manners sometimes.